Engram

I've been hearing this word for the past few weeks over and over again. But I chose not to ask what it meant. Until today.. although I didn't ask, I searched for its meaning and found out that an engram is defined as "a mental image picture which is a recording of an experience containing pain, unconsciousness and a real or fancied threat to survival. It is a recording in the reactive mind of something which actually happened to an individual in the past and which contained pain and unconsciousness ... It must, by definition, have impact or injury as part of its content. These engrams are a complete recording, down to the last accurate detail, of every perception present in a moment of partial or full unconsciousnes."

The definition is taken from Scientology and Dianetics. A book was published by Ron Hubbard in the 1950's called Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health and I think we have that book somewhere in the house. I might go look for it one of these days.

In the Scientology website, I found an interesting explanation on engrams.

What is an engram?

The reactive mind does not store memories as we know them. It stores particular types of mental image pictures called engrams. Engrams are a complete recording, down to the last accurate detail, of every perception present in a moment of partial or full “unconsciousness.”

“Unconsciousness” could be caused by the shock of an accident, anesthetic used for an operation, the pain of an injury or the delirium of illness. During these times, the analytical mind shuts down in full or in part and the reactive mind cuts in, in full or in part. An engram exists below the individual’s awareness level yet it can be activated so as to enforce its content, and can cause unevaluated, unknowing and unwanted fears, emotions, pains and psychosomatic illnesses.

For example, a man playing baseball is hit in the head by a pitcher’s ball and knocked out. Someone yells out to the pitcher, “You are no good.” Although the man is unconscious, these words and everything else going on are recorded in an engram; the smell of the dirt where he lay, the feeling of sweat on his brow and the sensation of heat from the afternoon sun. Months or even years after the incident, while watching a baseball game, many of these factors recorded in the engram are present in his current environment. These can restimulate the engram. The man suddenly and inexplicably gets a headache. He might also feel that he was “no good.” This engram in the reactive mind has been restimulated. The reactive mind is attempting to “prevent” the man from “getting himself into danger.” The reactive mind is not very intelligent.

Such is the power and influence of engrams.

I haven't processed myself yet. But I know that if I did it's going to be painful. And I have to prepare myself for it.

The demon within, as what Socrates calls it, is simply my mind. My reactive mind who feels threatened. Afraid of change. I have to exorcise it.