Nakuha sa ngiti

It's a wonder how a simple smile can affect the behavior of a person. We take it for granted yet a simple act of kindness and just a simple smile can actually alter the life of a human being. I never thought that it could really work wonders until last Tuesday.

I walked to the counter and was greeted with a smile, I smiled back and said "Good morning." I knew right then and there that things would turn out the way we wanted it to. I silently thanked God and looked at her intently as she started asking questions. I was confident and straight forward. After a minute or so, she said that I was set to go and instructed me to go to the pavilion and pay the shipping fee at Delbros.

Sabi nga ng kaibigan ko, "Nakuha mo na naman sa ngiti."

When you ride in a boat and watch the shore, you might assume that the shore is moving. But when you keep your eyes closely on the boat, you can see that the boat moves. Similarly, if you examine myriad things with a confused body and mind you might suppose that your mind and nature are permanent. When you practice intimately and return to where you are, it will be clear that nothing at all has unchanging self.

- "Actualizing the Fundamental Point" by Zen Master Dogen

Folk dance it is

I have never enjoyed folk dancing. I hate it when February comes. That's the time when we do our field demonstration back in elem and HS. That's why I really jumped for joy when I got exempted from physical education because I got into varsity volleyball. I never thought that at my age I would still do folk dancing. But this GSE thing is really pushing me to the limit. So, yesterday I changed my behavior towards it and accepted the fact that I will be doing it. I must admit that I actually enjoyed it. After so many years I enjoyed it.

Behavior modification really works wonders.

What people expect to happen is always different from what actually happens. From this comes great disappointment; this is the way the world works.

- Sutta Nipata

Misis Tikboy

I got a card from Misis Tikboy yesterday. And it made me smile. I missed reading her letters. It was the first time in two years that I got one from her and it made my heart beat real good. I even read it first before eating lunch. My mom was even asking me who she is, when I told her she just laughed and said Sira ulo kayong dalawa.

I wish I could post pictures Misis Tikboy, but you know I don't have internet access at home right now. Too bad. So sad.

I miss my laptop and my broadband connection. I won't be using them for at least a month. I'm working on a means to have internet access at the office but I'm not sure if I can actually negotiate it. I spend more time at the office rather than at home. And sometimes I need the internet to get information from the CSC. Like what happened yesterday. I made a presentation and several questions were thrown at me regarding legal concepts. Good thing me and Misis Tikboy had a little chat before that presentation, I did access the internet for some information before I went to the meeting. I did try to explain sexual harassment in the work place and they really turned serious. Hehehe.

One month. Just for a month. I have to access the internet away from home.

Pagsubok

Kahapon habang naliligo ako tumunog ang landline. Para sa akin daw sigaw ng kapatid ko. Si Atty. Punzalan, tumawag daw ako agad paglabas ko ng bathroom. Napaisip tuloy ako, alas sais ng umaga tumawag si PDG Manny? Seryoso 'yun ah! Kaya hindi pa ako nakakapagbihis, tinawagan ko agad siya. Pagsagot niya, sinabi na niya agad sa akin na may kulang na pirma ang papel ko at kailangan ma-accomplish ko 'yun buong araw dahil kailangan na niya ipadala sa RI. Nag shoot up ang adrenalin ko. Hindi ko naisip na matinding biyahe ang gagawin ko, mula Meycauayan hanggang Malolos. Malolos pabalik ng Meycauayan para mapirmahan ang papel at Meycauayan pabalik ulit ng Malolos para maibigay sa kanya ang mahiwagang papel. Bago ako umalis ng bahay, kinailangan ko munang pumasok sa office. Andun ang mga phone numbers ng mga taong kailangan kong makausap. Ang aga ko tuloy sa opisina, before seven andun na ako. Long and short of it, nagawa ko naman. Pero matinding byahe 'yun, ang init sa kalye at naka-motor lang ako. Hindi ko naramdaman ang pagod dahil busy ang utak ko kakaisip. Sabi ko nga sa asawa ko talagang sinusubukan kami.

Nagawa ko naman lahat. Napagalitan nga lang ako ng asawa ko dahil sa bilis kong magpatakbo.

Ang daming tanong ng mga nasa opisina, sigurado na daw ba. Sabi rin ng tatay ko mukhang tuloy na ako.

Sana nga. Pinaniniwalaan kong tuloy na ito.

Kung ukol, bubukol.

First, choose your unforgettable school:
:: University of the Philippines Diliman

This school will be connected to the question!

1. Bakit ka nahuhuli sa pila bago mag-flag ceremony?
:: Couldn't remember attending one in UP. Wala kaming ganun eh.

2. Anong fave mong bilhin sa canteen?
:: 'Yung spaghetti sa Casaa at mango shake sa kiosk na tambayan namin sa UP gym

3. Na-guidance/p.O.d/principal ka na ba?
:: Never. Nerd ako nun.

4. Sinong fave teacher mo doon?
:: Laura Samson sa sociology, first time ko kasi maka 1.0 sa paper. Hanep din magpagawa ng paper. Monico Atienza, moody pero ang galing! Joi Barrios, kahit na mukha akong manok sa klase niya at 7:30 in the morning dahil sa pagbuga niya ng usok. Di ko makakalimutan 'yang Philip Morris menthol na 'yan!

5. Tropa mo ba yung guard ng skul nyo?
:: Di naman masyado, kilala lang kasi SA ako sa CSSP

6. San ka usually tumatambay?
:: AS 101 saka sa UP gym

7. What's your most unforgettable experience?
:: Speech class, bad trip 'yun. Di ko talaga feel kasi magsalita sa harap ng maraming tao. Hindi ko nga alam bakit naging effective akong prof ngayon eh.

8. Most unforgettable experience in
:: what?

9. Sinong una mong nakilala sa
:: UP? Di ko maalala. Hahahaha!

10. Ilang beses mo nang nawala ung ID mo?
:: Once. Di ko na rin maalala kung bakit. Hindi naman kasi useful ang ID noon sa UP. Sa library lang namin ginagamit. We don't wear it. Laminated nga lang eh. Ngayon sosyal na, card type na ID nila. Baduy na rin kasi they wear it. Hahahaha!

11. Favorite classmates?
:: Si Raymund Narag, hanep pagdating sa discussion. Si Anya, di ko makalimutan kasi mga magulang niya namundok.

12. Most unforgettable person? Why?
:: Si Sir Inay ng CSSP. Parang tatay ko na 'yun. Isa sa naniwala na kaya kong maging isang magaling na manunulat.

13. I-describe ang mukha mo sa grad pic.
:: Describe? Di ba pwedeng i-post ko na lang dito?

14. Anong binibili mo sa labas tuwing uwian?
:: Labas ng alin? Eh open ang university. Hahahaha! Sige na nga, ang walang kamatayang fishballs.

15. Nakakita ka na ba ng multo sa school?
:: Hindi eh, takot ata sila sa akin.

16. Nangarag ka ba sa updating/paghahabol sa projects?
:: Kapag may kagrupo, oo. Hindi mo kasi kontrolado ang oras nila, hindi naman kasi naka-block section sa Diliman eh.

17. Anong unang-una mong ginawa right after graduation?
:: Umuwi at nagpalit ng damit. Di ko feel 'yung suot ko.

18. Ano naman ang papel mo sa special days?
:: Once, nagsayaw during the PEP rally for varsity. Lahat kasi ng team kailangan may presentation eh.

19. Favorite subject?
:: Anthro 181/187, Socio 132 (Deviant Behavior), Kas 114 (Filipino Nationalism).

20. Ok lng Kung papalitan ang color ng uniform niyo?
:: Di uso sa UP 'yan, kaya nga hanggang ngayon pasaway ako pagdating sa uniform!

21. Nasa Friendster mo ba yung crush mo sa skul na yon?
:: Siguro.

23. Kilala mo ba kung sino ang nag-post nito?
:: Hindi eh, pampatanggal stress lang kaya ko pinatulan 'to. Hehehe.

24. Sino sa mga ka-batch mo ang dapat isali sa STARSTRUCK?
:: Sa varsity? Lahat pwede, artistahin material eh! Hehehehe!

Behavior modifification

Wikipedia defines behavior modification as the use of empirically demonstrated behavior change techniques to improve behavior, such as altering an individual's behaviors and reactions to stimuli through positive and negative reinforcement of adaptive behavior and/or the reduction of maladaptive behavior through positive and negative punishment. The term was first used by Thorndike in 1911. It is a treatment approach in psychology based on the principles of operant conditioning. Don't get me wrong here, I am not a psychologist (though my first choice when I was thinking of a course in college was psychology) but I've recently realized that I've been using this approach in my everyday encounters with what we call life.

I used to be so idealistic back in high school and college. That changed when I went into government service, I became cynical. Now, I accept things as they are. I do not condone the things that are happening, it's just that I've realized that there are certain things in life that I couldn't control (goodbye to my oc-oc self). I've had several experiences in the past that brought a lot of heartaches and disillusionment. I blamed myself for it. Cursed myself for it. Thus, I summoned stress to come to me and eat me up.

When I started teaching Asian Civilization and encountered Buddhist teachings I began to feel a little bit different. I started to realize that all that's been happening to me I brought upon myself. So I changed my behavior. Slowly, I tried to adjust to things that I once thought I could control. Things that I thought I could change. I acknowledged their presence and then moved on. I accepted that I could not change them so I'll change my behavior towards them. And then things started falling into place.

The path to enlightenment is not easy. But if we accept the things we cannot change and try to alter our negative behavior about it, it will be easier.

Acceptance is the key.

My dad's been urging me to take dianetics seriously. He's been bugging me for a week now since he attended that seminar. He wants me to try it and has been pushing me to read the books he got so that I could practice and process my feelings. But I am not interested as of the moment.

Sometimes, you need to be ready for something to like it. You can't force anyone to like something just because you say that it works for you.

People skills

I have always been good at reading people. This I have proven time and time again. I don't know why, but they actually do confide to me. A simple glance, smile and at times bothered look and I can feel it coming. They would come to me and start a simple conversation that usually leads to a revelation of their deep, dark secrets. I don't know where I got it. Probably it's a gift.

I just wish that what I tell them after the conversation could somehow lead them to something good, something better. I don't have all the answers, but as always I am here to listen. It is my strength. It is my gift.

I will use my gift to serve those who need it and to honor the One who gave it to me.

Council meeting

Thursday na naman, after a hard day's work may council meeting pa. Akala ko nga pahinga muna kami ngayon. Pero nasa minutes kasi nung nakaraang Sabado na kailangan kong i-discuss ang grievance machinery sa council. Para kung may comments, maiayos agad at ma-move for adoption na next meeting. Kakapagod. Buti na lang nag-stick sa agenda ngayon. Pero humaba pa rin. At dahil gabi na at umuulan, napagdesisyunan na sa Sabado ko na lang i-discuss ang proposal. Mukhang isang buong session namin bubunuin 'yun. Kapagod!

Antok na ako. Kailangan ko na ng toothpick sa mata ko. Buti na lang parehas kaming may pasok ng asawa ko ngayon, kung hindi...

Hehehehe. Tama na muna ang naughty thoughts. Baka bigla na naman ako magising.

;)

Revisiting old friends

I went to PAO this morning for two reasons: one, to get my tax refund, ITR and Certificate of GSIS shares and two, to visit old friends from the Executive. I haven't seen or heard from them in a while (except for Tintin, who updates me on events up there). Bugol and Ryot went on silent mode since they started law school and Bernn is on study leave because he's gonna take the bar exam this September.

So this morning when I went there, they were surprised. And the usual pa burger ka naman hirit resounded at the 5th floor. Buti na lang wala si Chief! The usual kwentuhan updates, sana daw sinabi ko para nag-inuman kami sort of thing. Ang mga abogado, kay kukulit! Lalo na si Atty. Meiz. As usual, I stayed longer at the carpeted area with Ate Alu. Daming kwento eh.

One thing is certain, despite all that happened they know that I am extremely happy. Happier than when I was with them back in 2007.

And it's all because of you Mahal.

Mukha ng bata

Habang nasa sala ako kagabi..

Nicole: Ta BG, di ba ikaw ang pinaka panganay sa inyo?
BGko: Oo, bakit?
Nicole: Eh bakit hindi ka mukhang matanda?

Napakamot ako ng ulo, lokong bata 'to ah.. nambola pa. Masagot nga ng pabiro.

BGko: Eh kasi, wala akong anak na katulad niyong makulit!
Nicole:Eh! Hindi nga, bakit parang bata pa 'yung mukha mo?

Tiningnan ko siya, seryoso ang mukha at humihingi talaga ng sagot.

BGko: Wala kasi ako masyado iniisip, saka lagi akong nakikipaglaro sa inyo kaya mukha pa rin akong bata.

Wala na talaga ako maisip eh! Hehehe.. ipinasa ko siya sa Lola niya, at ang sabi ni Lola

Lola: Siguro kaya ka nagtatanong kasi panganay ka rin ano?

Oo nga naman!

Ang itlog na nabuo

Ikaw lang 'yung gustong-gusto kong mabuo nung nabuo ka e.

Hindi naman siya lasing nung sinabi niya ito. Andito lang ako sala, inaayos itong computer nang bigla niya akong niyakap at sinabi 'yun. Sinagot ko siya, hindi para bastusin kundi para ituro sa tamang direksyon.

Kaya ganun ang naramdaman mo, bago ako nabuo, nawalan ka muna ng isang anak.

Haaaay.. bakit nga kaya ganito ang tatay ko sa akin?

Time heals all wounds

People eventually get over insults, injuries, and hatreds. So, they say. But I know for a fact that these wounds leave a scar. A reminder of the insult, the injury, the hatred that one has felt at one point in time. The wound is healed but the scar will forever remain.

And so does love. For the course of true love never did run smooth.

Ang mahiwagang singsing

Ang dami nang pinagdaanan ng mga singsing na ito. Sa tindi ng mga dinanas na pagsubok, hindi siya kayang tanggalin ng sinuman sa daliri ko. Sinubukan na siyang bawiin sa akin, pero pinanindigan ko ang hindi pagsosoli. Ewan ko ba, pero talagang para siya sa mga daliring ito. Dito lang.

The GSE D-3770 Outbound Team for 2008-09

Handover Ceremony
Barcie International Center
City of Malolos, Bulacan
01 July, 2008

The power of gadgets

and of course, libido. Hehehehe.. one naughty afternoon..

T: Nasa bed ka?
A: Oo, bakit?
T: Dalhin mo laptop and webcam sa bathroom.
A: Ha? May kasama ako dito sa room.
T: Kaya nga.
A: Seryoso ka?
T: Oo.
A: Eeeee..
T: Bilis na!
A: Seryoso nga?
T: Seryoso.

Wala na siya nagawa, dinala niya ang laptop dun pati ang webcam.

After a while... via SMS..

A: Ala ko masabi sa ating dalawa Mahal. Compatible talaga.
T: Napaka! Sobra ba?
A: Sobra?
T: Hindi.
A: Pasok ka na?
T: Oo, baka hina-hunting na ako sa office eh.
A: Ok, mwaaaaah!

Sa office.. nakatingin sila lahat pagpasok ko, si Tita Sosi nakangiti sa akin. Di lang makapagtanong. Pag-upo ko sa workstation, SMS ulit..

A: Nagmamadali ka pumasok noh? Hehe! Sabihin mo nakipag make love ka sa misis mo!
T: Nakangiti nga sila lahat sa akin eh!
A: Nakangiti?
T: Yep, namumula kasi ako.
A: Ano 'yan afterglow?
T: Korek!
A: Hahahaha!

Sometimes all you have to do is to become creative. It works.

When you're on the same wavelength, anything is possible.

;)

More pictures

Meia, Me, Alex
Administrators and Faculty

Drink up!

Boom shake

Hataw kung hataw!

Sige, itodo niyo na!

Restless nights

In Buddhism, the source of moral authority is the causal law. Be kind, be just, be humane, be honest if you desire to crown your future. Dishonesty, cruelty, inhumanity will condemn you to a miserable fall.

- Soyen Shaku

People have been wishing me well for the last few weeks. I've been asking myself if it was that obvious - that I've got a lot of things on my mind, that I am stressed. Ever since the result of the GSE selection got out, I couldn't sleep soundly. Dreams had appeared, one in which I've been in contact with the angel of death. He pinned me down, pushed at my heart so hard I couldn't breathe then let me go and vanished into thin air. Weird.

The last dream I had was this morning, I was in the hospital bed, of course at my nurse's floor. She was administering an angiogram (I think). Gabe came and then I asked him if he still remembers me, he nodded and said Tita Abie. I felt relieved. Then I woke up.

This GSE thing's been bugging me for weeks now. Only two months left to prepare all the needed documents and we haven't accomplished a single bit. This weekend we're going to have a meeting, word has it that anyone who misses three meetings will be out of the team. Talk about commitment! It's a good thing.

Thank you to all of those who believe that I can make it. And for everyone who's working their butts off to make this happen for me, I'll be forever grateful. RC Meycauayan-Uptown, if it's for me, it's for me. Don't feel sorry that you haven't exerted that extra push, don't make excuses that if only you had known that you've got a candidate... blah blah blah. It's over and done with. Let's hope for the best. This year or next year, Maryland or South Korea, you still got your international points when you try to clinch that title.

But of course, if asked for my preference I'd choose Maryland. Hehehehe!

Over and done with

Finally, the acquaintance party went well. Did my job, danced my part and got great reviews about it, had a few beers, declined invitations for a dance, had another set of beers, missed my wife so much.

Please give it to us this time. We both need each other. We can't live without each other.

The new Samsung D780 Duos

New on my wish list. My dual sim phone is acting strange, that's why I have my eyes on this. Nice color. Only downside is, the secondary sim only supports dual band functionality. No wifi, no 3G. Can't have it all huh?

Bits and pieces

I haven't been getting enough sleep lately. Pagkatapos ng sarap, heto na ang hirap. Tons of workload is piling up at my desk. Nagkatotoo ata ang hiling ko na maging super busy after June 25. To think that I voluntary gave up four classes originally assigned to me, I never thought I would be this toxic. Originally my work hours every Monday, Wednesday and Friday should only be eight hours a day, five for admin work and three for my class. But I extend beyond that and it takes its toll on my health. Lately I've been getting a lot of chest pains. And it shows, kahapon lang ang daming nakapansin na matamlay ako. So, today, I went home early. Tinapos ko lang ang mga kailangang gawin. I have to learn when to stop. And today, I took the first step.

Your Expression Number is 6

You have an outstanding sense of responsibility, love, and balance. You are helpful and inclined to comfort those in need. You have many artistic and creative talents, but you only use them to better others. You are loving, friendly, and appreciative of others. You have a depth of understanding that produces much kindness and generosity. Openness and honesty are apparent in your approach to all relationships. Sometimes, you can be too demanding of yourself. At times, you tend to sacrifice yourself for the welfare of others. At other times, you have trouble distinguishing between helping and interfering.

What's Your Expression Number?