A chat with OOO

A good friend is supposed to get married this year. She announced it to us December last year and made us promise that we will attend her wedding in Naga by the third quarter of this year. Kahit daw wala na kaming gift basta kumpleto kaming andun, ok na siya.

A few days ago, we caught each other online. And I was surprised when she asked me if she was making the right decision. I then asked her if there was a problem or was she just having the natural jitters. They've been together for years now, and she's of age. Actually, matagal na rin siyang wala sa kalendaryo tulad ko. So, I listened to what she had to share and I told her some things that I thought was apt for that moment.

Long and short of it, here's the gist of our sharing:

1. When you marry a person, you are not just marrying him/her. You marry his/her whole family. It's a cultural thing.
2. So, if you are going to marry a person, make sure that you know his/her family well. Well enough to learn about their traditions, belief and value systems. Because at one point or another, you would have to take part in it.
3. Langit ka, lupa ako. Pang pelikula ano? But sometimes this becomes an issue. So, better keep your foot on the ground and learn to dance to their music.
4. Respect your partner. This also entails acceptance of the family and environment that he/she grew up with.
5. Keep the communication lines open. But never let it be a one way thing, remember, when one speaks the other should listen.
6. Matinding magalit ang mabait. Kaya 'wag mong sagarin. You'll never know what that person is capable of doing pag nagalit na siya.

I am not an expert in relationships. I simply try to listen and give my two cents worth when asked to. This is the first time I've seen her this worried, so I stopped joking around and really listened to what she has to say.

In relationships, as Susan Anthony says, "Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit and simply never leave. Our lives are measured by these."