What if you fell in love with your student? And that same student wanted you in the first place before you fell in love with her. What would you do, hypothetically?
Hypothetically? I would do everything in my power to ignore the feeling. Put on that mask and pretend that the feeling doesn't exist. Ethics and professionalism tells me so. My personal policy on student-teacher relationship says so.
But will I do that? Will I really do that? Yes. I'd stick by my rules. My students know that. I've turned down several invites for coffee and lunch a few years back in OLFU. Told them that I could only go out with them if and when a) they are no longer students of the university (whether they officially graduate or dropped out of school) and b) i'm no longer a member of the faculty. I was able to do that for four years. But hey, let's cut the crap. Truth be told, I am in a relationship right now in which my partner is a former student.
So what the hell happened with the whole ethics and professionalism, personal policy on student-teacher relationship? It's still there. Just so happened that in 2007 I was no longer a faculty of the university and she was no longer a student. So, technically I am off the hook. Except for the fact that most of my colleagues jokingly says that I'm a cradle snatcher. So, what? I tell myself. At least I did not violate any university rule.
When I first became an instructor/professor I'd been cautioned by my department head several times on my style of clothing. He says I dress up like I'm from a call center, that I don't look like a professor. So, I geared up for the job. A few months after that, he jokingly tells me that I might be courting my students. I told him my personal policy on the matter and he was quite impressed. I was given the impression that a lot of faculty members have been seen on a drinking spree with their students. Told him I wasn't like that. So I earned his trust as well as the department's trust. I didn't break that trust.
Now that I'm in another college, I still maintain that personal policy. The President of the college in my initial interview in 2005 didn't have qualms about asking the same thing, if I am a lesbian and kung nanliligaw daw ba ako ng estudyante. I told her the same thing that I said to my department head at OLFU. She was satisfied.
Integrity and credibility is the only thing that I have left. I don't have the money, I don't have the power. But I do treasure my personal values. And I intend to keep it that way.
But will I do that? Will I really do that? Yes. I'd stick by my rules. My students know that. I've turned down several invites for coffee and lunch a few years back in OLFU. Told them that I could only go out with them if and when a) they are no longer students of the university (whether they officially graduate or dropped out of school) and b) i'm no longer a member of the faculty. I was able to do that for four years. But hey, let's cut the crap. Truth be told, I am in a relationship right now in which my partner is a former student.
So what the hell happened with the whole ethics and professionalism, personal policy on student-teacher relationship? It's still there. Just so happened that in 2007 I was no longer a faculty of the university and she was no longer a student. So, technically I am off the hook. Except for the fact that most of my colleagues jokingly says that I'm a cradle snatcher. So, what? I tell myself. At least I did not violate any university rule.
When I first became an instructor/professor I'd been cautioned by my department head several times on my style of clothing. He says I dress up like I'm from a call center, that I don't look like a professor. So, I geared up for the job. A few months after that, he jokingly tells me that I might be courting my students. I told him my personal policy on the matter and he was quite impressed. I was given the impression that a lot of faculty members have been seen on a drinking spree with their students. Told him I wasn't like that. So I earned his trust as well as the department's trust. I didn't break that trust.
Now that I'm in another college, I still maintain that personal policy. The President of the college in my initial interview in 2005 didn't have qualms about asking the same thing, if I am a lesbian and kung nanliligaw daw ba ako ng estudyante. I told her the same thing that I said to my department head at OLFU. She was satisfied.
Integrity and credibility is the only thing that I have left. I don't have the money, I don't have the power. But I do treasure my personal values. And I intend to keep it that way.
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