It's been an hour and forty minutes since I took my daily dose of Rivotril. But it hasn't produced the desired result yet. I wanted to take another half since my mind seems to be very active and cease to give in the the medication which is supposed to slow me down and calm my nerves. Well, tonight it doesn't.
Information overload might be the cause. It keeps my mind racing for at least 220 km/hr tops. Thinking of the what-if's and could've beens. Sometimes, decisions we make that we think will be best turn out to be very painful. Just when we have thought that damage control has been done, the mayhem unknowingly continues. There has to be a reason. A very good reason for everything that has happened.
I cannot die tonight, nor in the near future. I owe a lot of people an apology. People that I love. People who've been very good to me. It would take time, the wounds that I have caused could not heal in an instant. Unlike my hero Wolverine, these people doesn't have the ability to regenerate. And the wounds that I have caused are not physical, thus the harder it is for the wound to heal.
Perhaps I should write all of you a letter. Or pay you a visit one of these days. Or perhaps I should get a Bayan Wireless land line so that I could call you guys up, introduce myself, remind you how I have caused you pain and ask for forgiveness as one advertisement manages to hit the TV screen every now and then.
I just need to get this out. Or maybe I should think of writing my will. Hehehehe. Right, laugh at yourself Tink. Try to make it easy, your alter ego's catch phrase caught up with you... just when I thought that what I did was right, just when I thought that it would hurt less people than give in to my own happiness... tonight is unlike all other nights. For tonight I get to tell myself this: "I'm the best there is at what I do, but what I do isn't very nice."
I cannot die tonight, nor in the near future. I owe a lot of people an apology. People that I love. People who've been very good to me. It would take time, the wounds that I have caused could not heal in an instant. Unlike my hero Wolverine, these people doesn't have the ability to regenerate. And the wounds that I have caused are not physical, thus the harder it is for the wound to heal.
Perhaps I should write all of you a letter. Or pay you a visit one of these days. Or perhaps I should get a Bayan Wireless land line so that I could call you guys up, introduce myself, remind you how I have caused you pain and ask for forgiveness as one advertisement manages to hit the TV screen every now and then.
I just need to get this out. Or maybe I should think of writing my will. Hehehehe. Right, laugh at yourself Tink. Try to make it easy, your alter ego's catch phrase caught up with you... just when I thought that what I did was right, just when I thought that it would hurt less people than give in to my own happiness... tonight is unlike all other nights. For tonight I get to tell myself this: "I'm the best there is at what I do, but what I do isn't very nice."
I need another dose of Rivotril to knock me out.
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