Couldn't sleep so I ripped this off from iThess' Bulletin Board
What color shirt are you wearing?
► blue
Name three things that are physically close to you:
► laptop, a liter of water, mobile phones
Are you or were you a good student?
► yes, not excellent. not poor. just good.
Do you enjoy sleeping late?
► i think that was why my neurologist told me to cut down on drinking coffee to at least once a day. also, he gave me rivotril so that i could doze off to sleep in a span of a few minutes (but it isn't that effective, maybe a tablet will do the job and not just half)
Who tells the best jokes?
► couldn't think of anybody right now, hmmm... probably enrich. an old college friend who became a colleague at OLFU
What was the last thing you dreamed about?
► do you really want to know? ;) fine, les porn
Do you believe in karma?
► oh yes
Do you believe in luck?
► sometimes
Do you like eggs scrambled or sunny side up?
► doesn't really matter
Are you proud of yourself?
► yes
Are you reliable?
► i think so
Have you ever had a secret admirer?
► yep, became my stalker
Do you like the smell of gasoline?
► yes, love it
Do u like to draw?
► more like doodling abstract images
Is your room messy?
► no, those who have seen my room says i'm OC
What do you like better: oranges or apples?
► oranges
Are you a good guesser?
► let's just say i'm sensitive to people's behavior
Can you read other people's expressions?
► yes
Are you a bully?
► no
Do you have a job?
► part-time for now, hopefully by next month i'm going full time
What time did you wake up this morning and why??
► 5:00, my body clock automatically wakes me up
What did you eat for breakfast this morning?
► nothing, just drank coffee
When was the last time you showered?
► this afternoon.
What do you plan on doing tomorrow?
► tinker with my motorcyle, write something for my blog, read the opinion section of PDI. and yeah, watch out for ambeth ocampo's article
What's your favorite day of the week and why?
► saturday, because i get to spend my day sharing stuff with my class and sunday, i get to drive at least 19km on the way to the divine mercy shrine and back
Do you have any nicknames?
► beegee, abs, abie, tetuts
Is there someone you have been constantly thinking about? If yes, who?
► yes, my tito junior
Do you enjoy challenges?
► yep, part of being an athlete
Who was the last person you spoke over the phone to?
► somebody from a call center in India asking me if i'm related to a certain person in new jersey
What's your favorite school subject?
► in college? history. in high school, physics
What's your least favorite school subject?
► math
Would you rather have money or love?
► i could have both, why would i opt to choose only one?
Do you miss anyone right now?
► yep
Do you need to do laundry?
► in a day or two, yes
Do you listen to the radio?
► yesterday i was listening to the radio the whole day, during the senate hearing on the ZTE-NBN deal
Who was the last person to make you laugh?
► yzabelle
Do you have any obsessions right now?
► i'm obsessed with my house
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Iskul Bukol 2008
I was supposed to be at the foundation day of MQAPC this morning pero dahil ayoko, hindi ako nagpakita. Ayoko mabilad sa init, mahirap na. Hehehehe! Ngayong gabi lang ako nagpakita, in disguise pa. I was wearing a black bull cap, a blue polo shirt, siyempre blue rin ang eyeglasses ko, maong jeans and a black sandals. I don't want to be noticed. Kaso, ang tinik ng mata ni President A, nakita pa ako sa may backstage habang nanonood ng pageant at cheer dance competition. Tinawag ako at sinabihan na dapat daw sanayin ko na ang sarili ko na kasama ng mga nasa administration dahil malapit na daw akong mag-umpisa na mag-opisina dun. Took my hat off and said, ok. But I didn't go to the table where they were. Pasaway talaga 'no? Saka na lang pag official talaga ang pagpasok ko dun.
Couldn't help but post this, natatawa talaga kasi ako at naiinis na rin...
Student: Ma'am, kung naging mahaba lang buhok niyo Diyosa ka na talaga!
Me: Ha?! Diyosa? Bakit naman?
Student: Eh kasi po ang ganda-ganda niyo.
Muntik na ko mabilaukan! Hanep mambola ang mga batang 'to! May kasunod pang hirit.
Student: Dapat po 'wag niyo hayaan na mahinto ang lahi niyo. Mag-anak ka ma'am! Kahit isa lang.
Me: Para kang tatay ko ah.
Student: Sayang po kasi talaga.
OMG! I couldn't believe that after three years of being an out lesbian in that college, my students still couldn't accept the fact that I am one. They tolerate it, they respect it, but at the back of their minds they secretly wish that I be transformed into a woman.
Haaaay...
Couldn't help but post this, natatawa talaga kasi ako at naiinis na rin...
Student: Ma'am, kung naging mahaba lang buhok niyo Diyosa ka na talaga!
Me: Ha?! Diyosa? Bakit naman?
Student: Eh kasi po ang ganda-ganda niyo.
Muntik na ko mabilaukan! Hanep mambola ang mga batang 'to! May kasunod pang hirit.
Student: Dapat po 'wag niyo hayaan na mahinto ang lahi niyo. Mag-anak ka ma'am! Kahit isa lang.
Me: Para kang tatay ko ah.
Student: Sayang po kasi talaga.
OMG! I couldn't believe that after three years of being an out lesbian in that college, my students still couldn't accept the fact that I am one. They tolerate it, they respect it, but at the back of their minds they secretly wish that I be transformed into a woman.
Haaaay...
Monday, February 11, 2008
A chat with OOO
A good friend is supposed to get married this year. She announced it to us December last year and made us promise that we will attend her wedding in Naga by the third quarter of this year. Kahit daw wala na kaming gift basta kumpleto kaming andun, ok na siya.
A few days ago, we caught each other online. And I was surprised when she asked me if she was making the right decision. I then asked her if there was a problem or was she just having the natural jitters. They've been together for years now, and she's of age. Actually, matagal na rin siyang wala sa kalendaryo tulad ko. So, I listened to what she had to share and I told her some things that I thought was apt for that moment.
Long and short of it, here's the gist of our sharing:
1. When you marry a person, you are not just marrying him/her. You marry his/her whole family. It's a cultural thing.
2. So, if you are going to marry a person, make sure that you know his/her family well. Well enough to learn about their traditions, belief and value systems. Because at one point or another, you would have to take part in it.
3. Langit ka, lupa ako. Pang pelikula ano? But sometimes this becomes an issue. So, better keep your foot on the ground and learn to dance to their music.
4. Respect your partner. This also entails acceptance of the family and environment that he/she grew up with.
5. Keep the communication lines open. But never let it be a one way thing, remember, when one speaks the other should listen.
6. Matinding magalit ang mabait. Kaya 'wag mong sagarin. You'll never know what that person is capable of doing pag nagalit na siya.
I am not an expert in relationships. I simply try to listen and give my two cents worth when asked to. This is the first time I've seen her this worried, so I stopped joking around and really listened to what she has to say.
In relationships, as Susan Anthony says, "Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit and simply never leave. Our lives are measured by these."
A few days ago, we caught each other online. And I was surprised when she asked me if she was making the right decision. I then asked her if there was a problem or was she just having the natural jitters. They've been together for years now, and she's of age. Actually, matagal na rin siyang wala sa kalendaryo tulad ko. So, I listened to what she had to share and I told her some things that I thought was apt for that moment.
Long and short of it, here's the gist of our sharing:
1. When you marry a person, you are not just marrying him/her. You marry his/her whole family. It's a cultural thing.
2. So, if you are going to marry a person, make sure that you know his/her family well. Well enough to learn about their traditions, belief and value systems. Because at one point or another, you would have to take part in it.
3. Langit ka, lupa ako. Pang pelikula ano? But sometimes this becomes an issue. So, better keep your foot on the ground and learn to dance to their music.
4. Respect your partner. This also entails acceptance of the family and environment that he/she grew up with.
5. Keep the communication lines open. But never let it be a one way thing, remember, when one speaks the other should listen.
6. Matinding magalit ang mabait. Kaya 'wag mong sagarin. You'll never know what that person is capable of doing pag nagalit na siya.
I am not an expert in relationships. I simply try to listen and give my two cents worth when asked to. This is the first time I've seen her this worried, so I stopped joking around and really listened to what she has to say.
In relationships, as Susan Anthony says, "Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit and simply never leave. Our lives are measured by these."
Sunday, February 10, 2008
What's keeping me busy?
Soft opening this week. Will try to have the grand opening on Sunday. Just getting the feel of it and checking if the foot traffic will generate income, hence the dry run.
Making us all nervous. OMG!
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Oh tukso, layuan mo ako!
My mom's generation knew the song very well, it was Eva Eugenio who popularized the song Tukso. I was thinking about this song in relation to today's gospel on the temptation of Jesus Christ for 40 days in the desert while I was listening to the sermon. Posible nga ba na lumayo sa 'yo ang tukso? Eh di ba 'yun nga ang intention at purpose niya? Ang lumapit sa 'yo at subukin ang kahinaan mo? So, it is more apt to say that we should stay away for as much as we can to temptations. Because it will always be there, lurking behind us, jumping at the slightest chance of weakness that we manifest.
I am not a saint. I thought I was but experience has proven me time and again that I am not. Hard as I try, my prayers are not enough to fight my weakness. I have no intention of becoming one because honestly, mas masarap gawin ang bawal. Hahahahaha! There's the thrill of doing it and not getting caught. Mala-teenager ba? But truth be told, almost everyone of us has this fantasy of doing something forbidden. And it takes a lot of heart, a lot faith and a ton of self-control not to indulge in it.
Bago pa ako mapunta kung saan-saan, I'd just like to share what the acronym of the day is: MALI.
M adalian. Ayaw natin na nahihirapan tayo. Gusto natin one-click lang nasa atin na ang gusto natin.
A ngat sa iba. Ito 'yung yabang na sinasabi. Hmmm.. pwede ring crab mentality. Need I say more?
L uho. Hmmmmm.. need versus want. Marami sa atin hindi alam ang pagkakaiba nun.
I nggit. Aha, tingin ka lang sa paligid kahit sa loob mismo ng tahanan ninyo, meron niyan.
Gusto ko nga sana i-counter ng TAMA. But I haven't taken my coffee yet. Ayaw pa mag-function ng utak ko. Hehehehe! What an excuse!
G'morning everyone!
I am not a saint. I thought I was but experience has proven me time and again that I am not. Hard as I try, my prayers are not enough to fight my weakness. I have no intention of becoming one because honestly, mas masarap gawin ang bawal. Hahahahaha! There's the thrill of doing it and not getting caught. Mala-teenager ba? But truth be told, almost everyone of us has this fantasy of doing something forbidden. And it takes a lot of heart, a lot faith and a ton of self-control not to indulge in it.
Bago pa ako mapunta kung saan-saan, I'd just like to share what the acronym of the day is: MALI.
M adalian. Ayaw natin na nahihirapan tayo. Gusto natin one-click lang nasa atin na ang gusto natin.
A ngat sa iba. Ito 'yung yabang na sinasabi. Hmmm.. pwede ring crab mentality. Need I say more?
L uho. Hmmmmm.. need versus want. Marami sa atin hindi alam ang pagkakaiba nun.
I nggit. Aha, tingin ka lang sa paligid kahit sa loob mismo ng tahanan ninyo, meron niyan.
Gusto ko nga sana i-counter ng TAMA. But I haven't taken my coffee yet. Ayaw pa mag-function ng utak ko. Hehehehe! What an excuse!
G'morning everyone!
Friday, February 8, 2008
Morning thoughts after drinking coffee
Yesterday while listening to the Senate Blue Ribbon committee hearing with Engr. Jun Lozada on the hot seat, a lot of terms popped up which I am sure my students would readily ask me today. For sure they would start another discussion about it and relate it to the current plight of our city government: the media coverage on former municipality accountant Avic Atienza's revelations about irregularities in the local administration and the former mayor Eddie Alarilla's reactions on the said irregularities.
They started to become this vigilant three years ago during their second semester in their freshman year. That was the time they met me and became their professor in political science, particularly Philippine Constitution and Government. Since then, their other teachers have noticed their transformation. From timid students to very outspoken and oftentimes agitated freshmen and they once warned me that my students were bordering on activism. I try to moderate their hunger for truth now that they are in their junior year by relating Rizal's style of instigating change in society, since that's the subject I was tasked to discuss for the entire semester. But then, Rizal too has another persona: Simoun, the rich jeweler vent on revenge because of the misfortunes he suffered when he was still the naive and idealist Crisostomo Ibarra in the romantic novel Noli Me Tangere.
The task that I have to bear. Sometimes its hard being objective when your personal views are challenged. For now, I would just have to be ready to explain to them what Sec. Romulo Neri meant when he told Engr. Lozada to "moderate their greed" (referring to former Comelec Chairperson Abalos), what "win-win solution" Engr. Lozada was thinking of to reconcile Abalos and Joey De Venecia's camp regarding the NBN deal, and what a "dysfunctional system" the government has in terms of procurement.
Whew, and I thought this was an easy day for me since I had planned to let them watch the second half of Bayaning 3rd World and the documentary of Howie Severino on the young Rizal living in Paris, France entitled "Little Bad Boy."
They started to become this vigilant three years ago during their second semester in their freshman year. That was the time they met me and became their professor in political science, particularly Philippine Constitution and Government. Since then, their other teachers have noticed their transformation. From timid students to very outspoken and oftentimes agitated freshmen and they once warned me that my students were bordering on activism. I try to moderate their hunger for truth now that they are in their junior year by relating Rizal's style of instigating change in society, since that's the subject I was tasked to discuss for the entire semester. But then, Rizal too has another persona: Simoun, the rich jeweler vent on revenge because of the misfortunes he suffered when he was still the naive and idealist Crisostomo Ibarra in the romantic novel Noli Me Tangere.
The task that I have to bear. Sometimes its hard being objective when your personal views are challenged. For now, I would just have to be ready to explain to them what Sec. Romulo Neri meant when he told Engr. Lozada to "moderate their greed" (referring to former Comelec Chairperson Abalos), what "win-win solution" Engr. Lozada was thinking of to reconcile Abalos and Joey De Venecia's camp regarding the NBN deal, and what a "dysfunctional system" the government has in terms of procurement.
Whew, and I thought this was an easy day for me since I had planned to let them watch the second half of Bayaning 3rd World and the documentary of Howie Severino on the young Rizal living in Paris, France entitled "Little Bad Boy."
Oh well, when there are more pressing matters that needs to be addressed. I have to be there to guide my students. This is my calling, this is my duty.
Paolo Coelho on Love
I haven't read any of Paolo Coelho's book. Okay, okay, the fuck I am for not doing so *hands up* but I just haven't been interested because everybody seems to be quoting him and doing rave reviews about his writings. So, when my good friend Tina B sent me an email this morning regarding an interesting read on Paolo Coelho's blog site I read it. And? Yeah, it is interesting. Simple yet laden with a lot of meanings. I googled his site and found it, I subscribed to his daily journal online "Warrior of the Light".
Does this mean that I already became a fan of Paolo Coelho? Well, let's wait and see. Meanwhile, here's the email that I got from Tina B. (Hey, thanks for sending the this. Glad to see that there's no more negative messages on your YM lately. Keep smiling.)
A – Whereas the saying “all is fair in love and war” is absolutely correct;
B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battle field, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;
Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage. Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.
Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid’s bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as “unrequited love”. Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage. In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while. The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: “this person is worth fighting for”.
Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, vengeance is expressly forbidden. In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor. The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.
Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one's decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.
Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as “breaking up”, the only medicine capable of having an effect is called Time. It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things. One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints. Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day. Final determination: Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers. They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.
And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”. Because they haven’t.
Does this mean that I already became a fan of Paolo Coelho? Well, let's wait and see. Meanwhile, here's the email that I got from Tina B. (Hey, thanks for sending the this. Glad to see that there's no more negative messages on your YM lately. Keep smiling.)
Convention of those wounded in love
General provisions:
A – Whereas the saying “all is fair in love and war” is absolutely correct;
B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battle field, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;
It is hereby decreed that:
Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage. Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.
Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid’s bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as “unrequited love”. Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage. In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while. The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: “this person is worth fighting for”.
Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, vengeance is expressly forbidden. In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor. The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.
Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one's decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.
Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as “breaking up”, the only medicine capable of having an effect is called Time. It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things. One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints. Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day. Final determination: Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers. They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.
And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”. Because they haven’t.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Terra Humara circa 2004, Zambales
I tried to retrieve pictures in my photobucket account and found these pictures which were taken in one of the outdoor trips of my former officemates at CyberSoft. It's in Zambales. Since in my last post I reminisced Dagulgul, I thought of putting the pictures in here and go down memory lane. Hehehehe..
We're quite a group, very adventurous and always ready to go. I miss them. Most of them are already in the US and Canada. The others who are still here intends to leave too. Me? I wish I could.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Reminiscing Daguldul
Original members of the Terra Humara Mountaineering society are planning on a trip to Dagulgul this weekend with a different group. These people were my former officemates from CyberSoft who are very dear to me. I consider them as my family, I stayed with this company for eight long years before I finally decided to venture into teaching. Manny sent me a text message asking me if I could go with them. I wanted to, but I've got classes on Saturday. And I'm sure madami kokontra because of my health condition. Hindi pa mandin simple akyatin ang Daguldul. It took us more than three hours the first time we went there before we reached the peak. We were more than 30 mountaineers that time. And there were other groups at the peak where we camped.Anyway, I gathered some pictures of our last trip there and here's some of them.
From buy and sell to odd man out
I had a very busy morning. Started my day with a 06:00 hour mass (it's Ash Wednesday) after which I went home and checked my mails. Around 09:00 I went to Tita I to give her the document that needs to be notarized, borrowed her wireless land line phone with unlimited calls to Manila and contacted my PAO buddies. It was then that the laptop deal was set at 18:00. Tita I and I were supposed to pick them up at the PAO office and then go to Teachers Village to close the deal. But the buyer was very meticulous and knowledgeable too. To make the long story short, the Toshiba stays. I told my brother-in-law, not tonight. Your laptop stays. At least I got to see my old friends.
I then thought that we were going home. But Tita I had other plans, we went to CSB. Tita I would meet J and settle an unfinished business in which I had some involvement too. So, I couldn't tell her that I need to go home and take my meds. We waited for J along Ayala St. in Manila after which we went to Dampa and ate a sumptuous seafood feast (sorry Lord, I know I should be fasting, but this is the only decent meal I got today). Bago pa lang kami bumaba ng kotse, may iringan na. At syempre pa, damay ako. I tried to mediate, negotiate, explain. But it didn't work. So I thought, OMG! This is gonna be a long night. And so it's been.
After dinner, we strolled around the CCP Complex, watched fireworks display across Star City (it's Chinese New Years's Eve) while they were still discussing the issue and rekindling similar issues in the past. I was at the back of the car, holding my temper, patiently listening and sometimes giving my two cents worth.
Last stop, the parking lot at the Floating Restaurant. They told me it was their favorite spot. So I gave them space and time to talk and sort things out, I went outside and felt the cold air. Still, when I got back, the issue kept on resurfacing. But they they were okay, far okay than when the night started. I wanted to tell them to get a room but J told me she was not in the mood. So, I became the odd man out inside the car.
I pretended I was asleep, at least they were talking sense when I did that. They were occasional silence, which is understandable (i was sleeping, right). Until they finally called it a night.
I slept on the way home but I could still hear them talking over the phone while Tita I was driving. Good. Good. I hoped that J would never mention my name but I wasn't lucky. I could only assume what J was telling Tita I, it's something like this,
J: Tulog na ba si Beegee?
Tita I: Oo, nasa likod ng kotse. Gusto nga lumipat dito sa harap, sabi ko wag na.
J: Pakisabi sa kanya, goodnight love.
Tita I: Type mo talaga 'to 'no? Ok lang, pamangkin ko naman eh.
What the fuck was that again?!
It's almost three in the morning, I have to take my meds. Otherwise I would have a hard time sleeping.
This is never gonna happen again. Ever.
I then thought that we were going home. But Tita I had other plans, we went to CSB. Tita I would meet J and settle an unfinished business in which I had some involvement too. So, I couldn't tell her that I need to go home and take my meds. We waited for J along Ayala St. in Manila after which we went to Dampa and ate a sumptuous seafood feast (sorry Lord, I know I should be fasting, but this is the only decent meal I got today). Bago pa lang kami bumaba ng kotse, may iringan na. At syempre pa, damay ako. I tried to mediate, negotiate, explain. But it didn't work. So I thought, OMG! This is gonna be a long night. And so it's been.
After dinner, we strolled around the CCP Complex, watched fireworks display across Star City (it's Chinese New Years's Eve) while they were still discussing the issue and rekindling similar issues in the past. I was at the back of the car, holding my temper, patiently listening and sometimes giving my two cents worth.
Last stop, the parking lot at the Floating Restaurant. They told me it was their favorite spot. So I gave them space and time to talk and sort things out, I went outside and felt the cold air. Still, when I got back, the issue kept on resurfacing. But they they were okay, far okay than when the night started. I wanted to tell them to get a room but J told me she was not in the mood. So, I became the odd man out inside the car.
I pretended I was asleep, at least they were talking sense when I did that. They were occasional silence, which is understandable (i was sleeping, right). Until they finally called it a night.
I slept on the way home but I could still hear them talking over the phone while Tita I was driving. Good. Good. I hoped that J would never mention my name but I wasn't lucky. I could only assume what J was telling Tita I, it's something like this,
J: Tulog na ba si Beegee?
Tita I: Oo, nasa likod ng kotse. Gusto nga lumipat dito sa harap, sabi ko wag na.
J: Pakisabi sa kanya, goodnight love.
Tita I: Type mo talaga 'to 'no? Ok lang, pamangkin ko naman eh.
What the fuck was that again?!
It's almost three in the morning, I have to take my meds. Otherwise I would have a hard time sleeping.
This is never gonna happen again. Ever.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Both!
I was always reminded by my father of the power of CHOICE. That I have to let go of something or someone to fully take care the one that I choose. It was only this morning that somebody contradicted that principle, that I do not have to let go of the other, that I can have both. Astonishing as it may seem, but it gradually sank on me. Why not, peklat?
Here's how it is:
Breaking Through the Either/Or Syndrome
by Liza Jimenez
*reprinted from my email this morning
Let's take a little quiz. Read the following five questions and answer them as honestly as possible. Ready? Begin...
1. Do you want a successful career or a close relationship with your family?
2. Do you want to earn a fortune or do the work you love?
3. Do you want to enjoy a delicious love life or grow your business?
4. Do you want to give to your favorite charity or invest in the new car?
5. Do you want to travel the world or make money?
There's only one answer to all of these questions. The answer is... BOTH!
One of the most powerful habits that can bring more abundance in your life is the habit of thinking, "Both".
Rich people live in a world of abundance.
Poor people live in a world of limitation.
Poor people think there's not enough to go around in the world.
They come from a fear-based mindset. Their answers are "either/or", but never "both".
In a poor person's mind-set they go for security above love, safety before self-expression and protection over possibility.
What about you? Are you a possibility theorist or a fear- based thinker?
Rich people live in a world of abundance.
Poor people live in a world of limitation.
Rich people understand that with a little creativity, a willingness to be unconventional, and an open mind, they can have both. When you build your business (and your life) on the "Both" mentality, you will see opportunities that you were once blind to.
I invite you to begin today to alter your mind-set. Get in the habit of saying "Both!" Try it for the next seven days.
Anytime you're asked to decide on two options, say both and then use your creative genius to make it happen.
You're asked if you want peanut butter or pralines and cream.
Say both and then do a double work out that day.
You're asked if you can write that article or take your daughter to soccer. Say both and then skip TV that night.
You're asked if you want to spend a week at the lake or a week at the beach. Say both and sign up for a house exchange.
You're asked if you want to attend Yale or Berkeley. (Ha! This is the questions my daughter Auriana poses as I write this E-Zine.) I say, "Let's jump on a plane, tour the campuses and make a choice. To which my 18-year-old daughter replies, "And whatever college I don't get my Bachelors from, I'll attend for my Masters!
Just say, "Both!"
Only you can make the decision to break through the limitations put on life.
YOU have the power to change your beliefs about abundance and prove to yourself you really believe in enjoying "both!"
Your first homework assignment this month is to practice saying, "Both" for seven days and notice the changes in your life. Your second homework assignment is to celebrate those changes and all the abundance that you will begin manifesting into your life.
To your Rich Life,
LISA
Here's how it is:
Breaking Through the Either/Or Syndrome
by Liza Jimenez
*reprinted from my email this morning
Let's take a little quiz. Read the following five questions and answer them as honestly as possible. Ready? Begin...
1. Do you want a successful career or a close relationship with your family?
2. Do you want to earn a fortune or do the work you love?
3. Do you want to enjoy a delicious love life or grow your business?
4. Do you want to give to your favorite charity or invest in the new car?
5. Do you want to travel the world or make money?
There's only one answer to all of these questions. The answer is... BOTH!
One of the most powerful habits that can bring more abundance in your life is the habit of thinking, "Both".
Rich people live in a world of abundance.
Poor people live in a world of limitation.
Poor people think there's not enough to go around in the world.
They come from a fear-based mindset. Their answers are "either/or", but never "both".
In a poor person's mind-set they go for security above love, safety before self-expression and protection over possibility.
What about you? Are you a possibility theorist or a fear- based thinker?
Rich people live in a world of abundance.
Poor people live in a world of limitation.
Rich people understand that with a little creativity, a willingness to be unconventional, and an open mind, they can have both. When you build your business (and your life) on the "Both" mentality, you will see opportunities that you were once blind to.
I invite you to begin today to alter your mind-set. Get in the habit of saying "Both!" Try it for the next seven days.
Anytime you're asked to decide on two options, say both and then use your creative genius to make it happen.
You're asked if you want peanut butter or pralines and cream.
Say both and then do a double work out that day.
You're asked if you can write that article or take your daughter to soccer. Say both and then skip TV that night.
You're asked if you want to spend a week at the lake or a week at the beach. Say both and sign up for a house exchange.
You're asked if you want to attend Yale or Berkeley. (Ha! This is the questions my daughter Auriana poses as I write this E-Zine.) I say, "Let's jump on a plane, tour the campuses and make a choice. To which my 18-year-old daughter replies, "And whatever college I don't get my Bachelors from, I'll attend for my Masters!
Just say, "Both!"
Only you can make the decision to break through the limitations put on life.
YOU have the power to change your beliefs about abundance and prove to yourself you really believe in enjoying "both!"
Your first homework assignment this month is to practice saying, "Both" for seven days and notice the changes in your life. Your second homework assignment is to celebrate those changes and all the abundance that you will begin manifesting into your life.
To your Rich Life,
LISA
75km vs. 200 beats per minute
75km. This is the mileage of my motorcycle today. And here's the story behind it.
Meycauayan to Sta. Maria, Bulacan
My day started early as usual. I had to go back to Sta. Maria to get the signed document (that Extrajudicial Settlement with Waiver of Rights and Sale/Deed of Absolute Sale) that my cousins, Ninang and Tito Tony has been trying to get since June 2005 when they went home here. Finally, I got it. I just have to let a lawyer notarize it, send a copy to them, bring the other copy to Sta. Maria, and get the original copy for myself. I guess that means they would be sending me a Special Power of Attorney for whatever legal purposes that land may entail.
Mahirap maipit sa gitna ng nag-uumpugang bato at sa alitan ng pamilya. But since they entrusted me the responsibility of handling the said dispute, I couldn't help but agree. Both sides have their own stories to tell. My job is simply to get the people to sign the document and then send it over to NJ. Simple isn't it? But when you're put in a situation wherein you have to play arbiter and at the same time psychologist/psychiatrist, oh well. I told myself, I knew I should have taken Psych in college and then entered law school! Geez.. what is it in me that makes people confide me in me too much information? Am I a messenger of some sort or what?
Sta. Maria to Marilao
Oh yeah, the wire transfer thing using Xoom. This ate half of my day and the transaction wasn't even completed. Wachovia bank says the payment is already authorized since Feb. 1, it was sent Jan. 31. But BDO's online systems says that the payment cannot be disbursed yet. They asked me what was the mode pf payment my cousin used, I told them it was a debit card. Isn't that supposed to be good as cash? Why then are they waiting for it to be cleared from their head office when Wachovia said it was okay to disburse it? I've been going to the bank for three consecutive days now and still, no luck. I even asked the staff yesterday if they could just credit it to my savings account since I am a depositor in their bank but she said its not possible because I would have to sign a new form each day because of the control number. Calm and patient that I am, I said ok. Be back tomorrow and go through the same process of falling in line, filling out the form, waiting for 30 minutes to two hours, only to be told that it still cannot be disbursed yet.. (to be continued)
Marilao to Meycauayan, Bulacan
So, I went home. Checked my mails, tried to eat a decent lunch (my Mom's not home and so is the rest of the guys. They're in Divisoria, buying things in preparation for the soft opening of D'Myxx Sinangagan and Silid Aralan Tutorial Center hopefully next week). After resting for a few minutes I decided to go to LTO's main office in QC to claim my card type license. It was 14:30 hours. I told my Dad I would just be going to LTO, I did not tell him that I would drive all the way to QC. Pasaway talaga!
Meycauayan to East Avenue, Quezon City
I took the MacArthur Highway going to EDSA route. It took me just 45 minutes to get to LTO. My top speed while in EDSA was 80km/hr. Average speed was 40-60km/hr depending on traffic situation.
I entered the LTO compound, got a ticket and a weird look from the guard when he heard my voice.
Guard: Saan po sila?
Me: Kukunin ko lang card type license ko sa Window 10. Kahapon pa ako pinababalik, ngayon lang ako nagka-oras pumunta.
I know that look. I just shrugged my shoulders, got the pass and went to the parking lot.
It just took me 5 minutes to get my card type license. Mas matagal pa byahe ko. That was when I thought of visiting my former officemates at the PAO Executive Division. It was right across LTO. Kaso lang tinamad na ako kasi kailangan ko pa mag-U-turn sa may SSS para makarating sa PAO. So, decided not to. Next time na lang, pag wala si Bru.
East Ave. to SM Marilao
(...continuation)
It was 16:30 hours, after showing myself in the bank three times, and getting the same answer I told the staff, could you just please credit it to my account once it goes through? I've been writing my savings account since day one of this whole remittance thing. She told me that it's possible, I just have to sign the deposit slip and then the other form. She then asked for my mobile number and told me that she'd text me if it's already in my account. Finally! I see the light!
SM Marilao to Meycauayan, Bulacan
And so, I am here in my room writing this all down. Trip ko lang, ayaw ko pa kasi kumilos para magluto. Hehehehe! As if I wouldn't do it, everybody's not here, so I have to do it. Asahan ko pa ba Dadi ko na magluto? Sus! Sigurado mamaya pagdating ni Mami magrereklamo na naman 'yun na gutom na gutom siya, na walang nag-aasikaso sa kanya. Ano siya sanggol? Gulay talaga!
Kaya kailangan ko nang tapusin 'to. Bago pa mag-200 beats per minute ang pulso ko sa inis dahil naririning ko nang kumakalampag ang mga kaldero sa kusina.
Hay, El Pueblo del Rio, gusto ko nang magpakanlong sa 'yo!
Meycauayan to Sta. Maria, Bulacan
My day started early as usual. I had to go back to Sta. Maria to get the signed document (that Extrajudicial Settlement with Waiver of Rights and Sale/Deed of Absolute Sale) that my cousins, Ninang and Tito Tony has been trying to get since June 2005 when they went home here. Finally, I got it. I just have to let a lawyer notarize it, send a copy to them, bring the other copy to Sta. Maria, and get the original copy for myself. I guess that means they would be sending me a Special Power of Attorney for whatever legal purposes that land may entail.
Mahirap maipit sa gitna ng nag-uumpugang bato at sa alitan ng pamilya. But since they entrusted me the responsibility of handling the said dispute, I couldn't help but agree. Both sides have their own stories to tell. My job is simply to get the people to sign the document and then send it over to NJ. Simple isn't it? But when you're put in a situation wherein you have to play arbiter and at the same time psychologist/psychiatrist, oh well. I told myself, I knew I should have taken Psych in college and then entered law school! Geez.. what is it in me that makes people confide me in me too much information? Am I a messenger of some sort or what?
Sta. Maria to Marilao
Oh yeah, the wire transfer thing using Xoom. This ate half of my day and the transaction wasn't even completed. Wachovia bank says the payment is already authorized since Feb. 1, it was sent Jan. 31. But BDO's online systems says that the payment cannot be disbursed yet. They asked me what was the mode pf payment my cousin used, I told them it was a debit card. Isn't that supposed to be good as cash? Why then are they waiting for it to be cleared from their head office when Wachovia said it was okay to disburse it? I've been going to the bank for three consecutive days now and still, no luck. I even asked the staff yesterday if they could just credit it to my savings account since I am a depositor in their bank but she said its not possible because I would have to sign a new form each day because of the control number. Calm and patient that I am, I said ok. Be back tomorrow and go through the same process of falling in line, filling out the form, waiting for 30 minutes to two hours, only to be told that it still cannot be disbursed yet.. (to be continued)
Marilao to Meycauayan, Bulacan
So, I went home. Checked my mails, tried to eat a decent lunch (my Mom's not home and so is the rest of the guys. They're in Divisoria, buying things in preparation for the soft opening of D'Myxx Sinangagan and Silid Aralan Tutorial Center hopefully next week). After resting for a few minutes I decided to go to LTO's main office in QC to claim my card type license. It was 14:30 hours. I told my Dad I would just be going to LTO, I did not tell him that I would drive all the way to QC. Pasaway talaga!
Meycauayan to East Avenue, Quezon City
I took the MacArthur Highway going to EDSA route. It took me just 45 minutes to get to LTO. My top speed while in EDSA was 80km/hr. Average speed was 40-60km/hr depending on traffic situation.
I entered the LTO compound, got a ticket and a weird look from the guard when he heard my voice.
Guard: Saan po sila?
Me: Kukunin ko lang card type license ko sa Window 10. Kahapon pa ako pinababalik, ngayon lang ako nagka-oras pumunta.
I know that look. I just shrugged my shoulders, got the pass and went to the parking lot.
It just took me 5 minutes to get my card type license. Mas matagal pa byahe ko. That was when I thought of visiting my former officemates at the PAO Executive Division. It was right across LTO. Kaso lang tinamad na ako kasi kailangan ko pa mag-U-turn sa may SSS para makarating sa PAO. So, decided not to. Next time na lang, pag wala si Bru.
East Ave. to SM Marilao
(...continuation)
It was 16:30 hours, after showing myself in the bank three times, and getting the same answer I told the staff, could you just please credit it to my account once it goes through? I've been writing my savings account since day one of this whole remittance thing. She told me that it's possible, I just have to sign the deposit slip and then the other form. She then asked for my mobile number and told me that she'd text me if it's already in my account. Finally! I see the light!
SM Marilao to Meycauayan, Bulacan
And so, I am here in my room writing this all down. Trip ko lang, ayaw ko pa kasi kumilos para magluto. Hehehehe! As if I wouldn't do it, everybody's not here, so I have to do it. Asahan ko pa ba Dadi ko na magluto? Sus! Sigurado mamaya pagdating ni Mami magrereklamo na naman 'yun na gutom na gutom siya, na walang nag-aasikaso sa kanya. Ano siya sanggol? Gulay talaga!
Kaya kailangan ko nang tapusin 'to. Bago pa mag-200 beats per minute ang pulso ko sa inis dahil naririning ko nang kumakalampag ang mga kaldero sa kusina.
Hay, El Pueblo del Rio, gusto ko nang magpakanlong sa 'yo!
Monday, February 4, 2008
Easier said then done
Woke up early and read this on my email...
Sakka asked: "What is the cause of self-interest?"
The Buddha answered: "It is perception of the world as one's object."
"How does one overcome this perception of the world as apart from oneself?"
"By acting for the increase of goodness and happiness. It is in this way that the world ceases to be one's object."
- Digha Nikaya
From "Buddha Speaks," edited by Anne Bancroft, 2000. Reprinted by arrangement with Shambhala Publications, Boston, www.shambhala.com.
This was my good morning message. Nice 'no?
It's hard to live a good life in this very tempting environment.
Sakka asked: "What is the cause of self-interest?"
The Buddha answered: "It is perception of the world as one's object."
"How does one overcome this perception of the world as apart from oneself?"
"By acting for the increase of goodness and happiness. It is in this way that the world ceases to be one's object."
- Digha Nikaya
From "Buddha Speaks," edited by Anne Bancroft, 2000. Reprinted by arrangement with Shambhala Publications, Boston, www.shambhala.com.
This was my good morning message. Nice 'no?
It's hard to live a good life in this very tempting environment.
Mebius and my Little Devil
Finally, I borrowed my Mom's S660 camphone so that I could post pictures of my new toy Mebius and my Little Devil's new carbon fiber head assembly. *wink*I was thinking of having my Little Devil's make over since last week but I was hesitant because of the deal that I was working on. Now that the buyer backed out, I had it done.
And here's my logo with my initials on it. It's the usual yin-yang that I had with my old head assembly, the only difference now is it's smaller in size and it has my initials. Vanity huh?
Other shots..Side view, of course andun si logo di ba? Kaya Little Devil kasi may sungay talaga siya, mana sa may-ari! Nakatago nga lang ang buntot. Minsan lang lumabas pag sobrang galit. Ngayon medyo gustong lumabas, kasi nagtampo pa yata ang kapatid ko. Hinihiram kasi si Little Devil, eh sabi ko lang naman paki-ingatan ang gamit dahil kapapagawa ko lang. Hindi naman sa pagdadamot. Pero the last time na sila kasi ang gumamit, bago ang side mirror ko, nabangga sa gate pati 'yung signal light sa kaliwa basag din. Medyo nadala na ba ako. Possessive kasi ako at maingat sa gamit. Kaya naiinis ako kapag may nakakasira sa gamit ko o nakikialam, lalo na sa kwarto ko. Hay naku, tama na nga 'yan at iinit lang ang ulo ko.
Si Mebius, nasa official table niya na naka mount na sa wall. 'Yung sirang computer table, kinarne ko 'yung parts. Kinuha ko 'yung dapat na patungan ng printer tapos nilagyan ko ng kahoy na suporta sa ilalim. I used concrete nails to mount it to the wall. Instant table di ba?'Yan ang gawain ko ngayon, ang magbutingting. Lalo na siguro kung sariling bahay ko na ang pinakikialaman ko. Hmmmm... malapit na 'yun.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Shade of Blue, Laptop and TV
Way ahead of time I usually plan what to wear to school. Today I went to school wearing a button fly jeans, a tucked in light blue long sleeved polo, a black belt, black shoes and a light blue framed eyeglasses with coated lens. I didn't know it could catch more attention than the usual attention that I get i.e., super bango every time I walk in the hallway.
Miko: Hindi naman po kayo mahilig sa blue ngayon ano?
Me: Hindi naman *smile* Could you please ask if we could use the computer room today? I've got my laptop with me and we're going to watch a docu on Rizal.
Then I left and clocked in at 11:40. I went to the administration office to check if there's a new memo. When I walked into the room, the president of the school was there. I said good morning to which she replied, Ang gwapo naman talaga! As usual, my reply was just a sly smile. She asked me about my condition, if I was ready to go full time since the HR officer would be leaving for Canada by March (the earliest). I said yes, I'm on the process of recovering. Then I told her I was going to let my students watch a docu but I have to use my laptop since her staff told me that there's no available TV that I could use for the activity.
Pres. A: Anung wala? Then she addressed her staff, Kunin niyo 'yung TV ko sa kwarto. Dalhin niyo sa room niya!
Me: Surprised I just said, Wag na po Mam, next time na lang po. Kasi naka set-up na po sa room 'yung gamit ko eh. Besides, it's just a 15-minute docu on Rizal's life in Paris, France. I'll just let them watch the full length film on Saturday since you already allowed the use of your TV.
Pres. A: O sige, paaakyatin ko na lang si Leony dun para ikabit 'yung amplifier/speaker sa laptop mo. Baka hindi nila marinig kapag volume lang ng laptop ang gamit mo eh.
The faculty and staff inside the room simply looked surprised. I just said thank you and left the room to go straight to my class.
As I was walking, I told myself pwede naman pala eh. It's just that nobody dared to ask.
After my class, I went to the property custodian's office and filled out some forms. Ms. J said, Pwede naman pala hiramin, napapayag mo si President. Si Dean kasi ang nagsabi na hindi na pwedeng magpahiram ng TV eh.Nawala na kasi 'yung isa. I simply nodded and said, Ok lang. At least ngayon alam na natin na pwede pala.
If only you could see their eyes! It expressed what they all couldn't say: Ang lakas nito kay President ah! OMG! Daming kwento na naman ang lalabas nito.
Oh well, opportunity presented itself, grabbed it, and it produced a positive result. Why? Because I dared to talk.
Miko: Hindi naman po kayo mahilig sa blue ngayon ano?
Me: Hindi naman *smile* Could you please ask if we could use the computer room today? I've got my laptop with me and we're going to watch a docu on Rizal.
Then I left and clocked in at 11:40. I went to the administration office to check if there's a new memo. When I walked into the room, the president of the school was there. I said good morning to which she replied, Ang gwapo naman talaga! As usual, my reply was just a sly smile. She asked me about my condition, if I was ready to go full time since the HR officer would be leaving for Canada by March (the earliest). I said yes, I'm on the process of recovering. Then I told her I was going to let my students watch a docu but I have to use my laptop since her staff told me that there's no available TV that I could use for the activity.
Pres. A: Anung wala? Then she addressed her staff, Kunin niyo 'yung TV ko sa kwarto. Dalhin niyo sa room niya!
Me: Surprised I just said, Wag na po Mam, next time na lang po. Kasi naka set-up na po sa room 'yung gamit ko eh. Besides, it's just a 15-minute docu on Rizal's life in Paris, France. I'll just let them watch the full length film on Saturday since you already allowed the use of your TV.
Pres. A: O sige, paaakyatin ko na lang si Leony dun para ikabit 'yung amplifier/speaker sa laptop mo. Baka hindi nila marinig kapag volume lang ng laptop ang gamit mo eh.
The faculty and staff inside the room simply looked surprised. I just said thank you and left the room to go straight to my class.
As I was walking, I told myself pwede naman pala eh. It's just that nobody dared to ask.
After my class, I went to the property custodian's office and filled out some forms. Ms. J said, Pwede naman pala hiramin, napapayag mo si President. Si Dean kasi ang nagsabi na hindi na pwedeng magpahiram ng TV eh.Nawala na kasi 'yung isa. I simply nodded and said, Ok lang. At least ngayon alam na natin na pwede pala.
If only you could see their eyes! It expressed what they all couldn't say: Ang lakas nito kay President ah! OMG! Daming kwento na naman ang lalabas nito.
Oh well, opportunity presented itself, grabbed it, and it produced a positive result. Why? Because I dared to talk.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Pasaway and Little Devil
A lot of people has been telling me to dispose of my Little Devil. They tell me that she would cost me my life. I could get an attack while riding her which could be a lot more dangerous than having an attack elsewhere. But I couldn't just let her go like that. We are connected in such a way that when I ride her I forget all my worries and pains. I know for non-riders that's weird, but for me, its bliss.
I have thought of letting her go because I need to pay my monthly dues. There was one interested buyer but he never showed up after we agreed on a date. So I guess this is fate, huh? My Little Devil doesn't want to leave me.
I just got off the phone with my Ninang and she was asking if I took the jeepney ride going to Sta. Maria this morning. Wag daw akong magpapagabi sa daan, delikado daw ngayon. Napagod daw ba ako, pasensiya na daw. I can't lie to her so I told her Ninang, nag motor lang po ako papunta sa munisipyo ng Sta. Maria kaninang umaga. Tipid po kasi sa pamasahe saka mas mabilis. And as usual, she goes berserk. I shouldn't drive a motorcycle because of my condition, I might get an attack along the way.. blah blah blah.. sabi ko na lang tuloy, Ninang masamang damo ako. Hindi ako agad kukunin ni Lord.
And one more thing, I need to live because someone would curse me like hell if I gave in and stopped being immortal. Mwehehehehehe!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
May tama
I was tinkering with the Sharp Mebius Laptop Notebook running on Intel Celeron processor with 735 Mhz, 176 MB RAM and 20GB of hard disk drive when Tito Ernie and Tita Baby came in.
T. Ernie: Oh, Beegee, kumusta na?
Me: Ok lang, buhay pa. Hehehehe. Paki-pulsuhan naman ako sandali. Iba pakiramdam ko eh.
Got my left arm, checked my pulse for about a minute. Saw the look on his face. I know that look pretty well.
T.Ernie: May tama ka ah. Barado na naman mga ugat mo.
Me: Ramdam ko nga eh, si Mami napansin na last weekend pa. Nabubulol na naman kasi ako.
T.Ernie: Speech nga ang affected sa 'yo.
Me: Yup, saka hindi na nawawala 'yun pain na parang kinukuryente ang kaliwang balikat ko.
T.Ernie: Tara.
Me: Mamyang konti, nuod ka muna Dragon War diyan.
Oh well, I'm used to this.
And by the way, I got the deal. I swapped my Philips S660 music and camera phone with built-in 128MB memory with this baby, an old but faster laptop than my super lite Toshiba Portege 3440 notebook. I just need to shell out some cash.
Sabi nga ng mga kapatid ko, nakaloko ka na naman Ate! Hahahaha! Nakuha mo pang ibenta ng tatlong libo 'yung cellphone na 'yun?
It's one of few the things I'm good at. *wink*
But I can't post a picture of the laptop yet since I gave away my camera phone. Hahahaha!
T. Ernie: Oh, Beegee, kumusta na?
Me: Ok lang, buhay pa. Hehehehe. Paki-pulsuhan naman ako sandali. Iba pakiramdam ko eh.
Got my left arm, checked my pulse for about a minute. Saw the look on his face. I know that look pretty well.
T.Ernie: May tama ka ah. Barado na naman mga ugat mo.
Me: Ramdam ko nga eh, si Mami napansin na last weekend pa. Nabubulol na naman kasi ako.
T.Ernie: Speech nga ang affected sa 'yo.
Me: Yup, saka hindi na nawawala 'yun pain na parang kinukuryente ang kaliwang balikat ko.
T.Ernie: Tara.
Me: Mamyang konti, nuod ka muna Dragon War diyan.
Oh well, I'm used to this.
And by the way, I got the deal. I swapped my Philips S660 music and camera phone with built-in 128MB memory with this baby, an old but faster laptop than my super lite Toshiba Portege 3440 notebook. I just need to shell out some cash.
Sabi nga ng mga kapatid ko, nakaloko ka na naman Ate! Hahahaha! Nakuha mo pang ibenta ng tatlong libo 'yung cellphone na 'yun?
It's one of few the things I'm good at. *wink*
But I can't post a picture of the laptop yet since I gave away my camera phone. Hahahaha!
Monday, January 28, 2008
Unknown Call
When my phone reflects an "unknown call" I know where it usually originates. The United States, or should I say, it is an overseas call. And I really don't get excited because I know that my relatives from the East Coast are once again up to something. I am not whining, its just that it makes my heart beat a little faster when I get that "unknown call" flashing wildly on my cellphone. I feel grateful that they check up on me, specially when they knew that I got TIA last December. Its just that for the last two months I've been getting a lot of calls from them because they wanted me to undergo MRI, they're worried because the doctor couldn't find anything except for the complicated migraine or to "fix" a teeny weeny problem back here regarding a wayward uncle, a cousin who doesn't want to go to college because of financial problems and would rather opt to work once she gets out of high school and a seemingly unending land disputes.
It's a good thing that I haven't got an 8-hour job to date. I could do all the errands they're requesting. At least it keeps me busy, it keeps me out of the house (where lately most of my stressors came from), and it stops me from thinking (bawal daw kasi ako mag-isip ng mag-isip, pwede ba 'yun?).
My phone reflected the last call time this morning as 00:43:20. Sabi nga ni Mami, "ang init na siguro ng tenga mo nun. Puro radiation na utak mo!" I told her all about the conversation. The whole family talked to me on the phone alternately, from Ninang, to Tito, and my cousins. It wasn't pure business. Most of it was kwentuhan and part of it was something like "You should come here Ate, I'll cover your plane fare. And the other one said, "What do you want? I had a hard time thinking of your pasalubong when I took Marlon last November for shopping that's why you never got any! Come over here and I'll take you shopping!" As if! That's easier said than done.
Well, I just got lucky today. Because according to my cousins, since I'm really nice to them and I don't ask for stuff (or should I say demand for stuff), Bhoy is giving me his 30GB Ipod Video and Bhaby is sending my favorite CK One eau de toilette. What can I say? *wink*
Thank you Bhoy and Bhaby for remembering me. If and when I get the chance to go to New Jersey, you'll be the first to know (syempre, you're gonna pay for my plane fare eh). We will not tell Ninang. Hehehehe!
It's a good thing that I haven't got an 8-hour job to date. I could do all the errands they're requesting. At least it keeps me busy, it keeps me out of the house (where lately most of my stressors came from), and it stops me from thinking (bawal daw kasi ako mag-isip ng mag-isip, pwede ba 'yun?).
My phone reflected the last call time this morning as 00:43:20. Sabi nga ni Mami, "ang init na siguro ng tenga mo nun. Puro radiation na utak mo!" I told her all about the conversation. The whole family talked to me on the phone alternately, from Ninang, to Tito, and my cousins. It wasn't pure business. Most of it was kwentuhan and part of it was something like "You should come here Ate, I'll cover your plane fare. And the other one said, "What do you want? I had a hard time thinking of your pasalubong when I took Marlon last November for shopping that's why you never got any! Come over here and I'll take you shopping!" As if! That's easier said than done.
Well, I just got lucky today. Because according to my cousins, since I'm really nice to them and I don't ask for stuff (or should I say demand for stuff), Bhoy is giving me his 30GB Ipod Video and Bhaby is sending my favorite CK One eau de toilette. What can I say? *wink*
Thank you Bhoy and Bhaby for remembering me. If and when I get the chance to go to New Jersey, you'll be the first to know (syempre, you're gonna pay for my plane fare eh). We will not tell Ninang. Hehehehe!
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Acronym for the week (from the Divine Mercy Shrine Sunday sermon)
I seldom hear mass. I actually stopped when I was in third year college for some tormenting reasons. Then I started hearing mass again regularly when I was at CyberSoft in the year 2001-2004. I stopped again when I was with OLFU although I occasionally hear masses from time to time. It became regular again in the last quarter of 2006 until the second quarter of 2007.
This year, i have been hearing early morning masses at the Divine Mercy Shrine. Lui introduced me the place. I don't know why, but I feel peace whenever I'm there. At first I find it corny, specially during the part after the sermon where we would all sing alam kong may magagawa ang Diyos (not sure if that's the title) because we were made to interact with one another by putting our left hand over another persons right shoulder and vice versa while we were being prompted to sing with the priest and feel the lyrics of the song. But after a while, it becomes a part of you.
Probably another reason why I like it there is because of the environment, simbang bukid kasi. The early morning mass is held outside of the church premises, talagang sa bukid siya ginagawa. And being the nature lover that I am, it really appealed to me.
This morning this is what I remembered from the sermon:
L ead others into the light
I nspire others to do good
G ive warmth to everybody you see
H eal the division/disunity around you, and
T each the truth.
Easier said than done huh? Let's just try to make an effort to do good.
Have a blessed Sunday morning!
This year, i have been hearing early morning masses at the Divine Mercy Shrine. Lui introduced me the place. I don't know why, but I feel peace whenever I'm there. At first I find it corny, specially during the part after the sermon where we would all sing alam kong may magagawa ang Diyos (not sure if that's the title) because we were made to interact with one another by putting our left hand over another persons right shoulder and vice versa while we were being prompted to sing with the priest and feel the lyrics of the song. But after a while, it becomes a part of you.
Probably another reason why I like it there is because of the environment, simbang bukid kasi. The early morning mass is held outside of the church premises, talagang sa bukid siya ginagawa. And being the nature lover that I am, it really appealed to me.
This morning this is what I remembered from the sermon:
L ead others into the light
I nspire others to do good
G ive warmth to everybody you see
H eal the division/disunity around you, and
T each the truth.
Easier said than done huh? Let's just try to make an effort to do good.
Have a blessed Sunday morning!
ID as a birthday gift from Tina B.
I'm not sure how we ended in this conversation but I'm pretty sure it was right after my birthday. Atty. Balajadia, or Tina B as most of us call her, was giving me the arched eyebrows when I told her that I got a housing loan from pag-ibig for a cluster townhouse somewhere in Bulacan. I also reminded her that when I was still in PAO I asked her what was the best design for a 24 sq.m. floor area. She just told me, depende sa gusto mo, sa style mo. To which I said. Ok.
And then when I brought it up again, this happened...
Tina B: I didn't know that it was yours.
Me: Kaya nga I asked you what design would best fit it di ba?
Tina B: If I knew na sa 'yo 'yun, I could've done the ID agad. Send me the floor plan.
Me: Teka, I'll recreate it pa. I'll send you the pictures muna.
Tina B: Otay.
After a few minutes..
Tina B: Asan ang door mo? Left or right?
Me: Left.
Tina B: 'Yung sink?
Me: Left din.
Tina B: Nakaka disorient kasi pictures.
Me: So, you'll do it for me?
Tina B: Yep, consider it as my birthday gift to you.
Me: Yey! Thanks!
Hehehe.. I don't have lots of friends but I could sure count on them when I need a hand. Thanks Jessie!
And then when I brought it up again, this happened...
Tina B: I didn't know that it was yours.
Me: Kaya nga I asked you what design would best fit it di ba?
Tina B: If I knew na sa 'yo 'yun, I could've done the ID agad. Send me the floor plan.
Me: Teka, I'll recreate it pa. I'll send you the pictures muna.
Tina B: Otay.
After a few minutes..
Tina B: Asan ang door mo? Left or right?
Me: Left.
Tina B: 'Yung sink?
Me: Left din.
Tina B: Nakaka disorient kasi pictures.
Me: So, you'll do it for me?
Tina B: Yep, consider it as my birthday gift to you.
Me: Yey! Thanks!
Hehehe.. I don't have lots of friends but I could sure count on them when I need a hand. Thanks Jessie!
My old poem posted in another blog
I was just surfing the net this morning trying out google by typing my name in the search engine because I was curious what it would generate. Well, it generated a lot. Most of them from my past poems published on the internet. There was 2 or 3 from Our Own Voice, and then several from Poetry.com which was back in 2001 when I hoped go to Florida, USA by winning the online competition. Unfortunately, I made it up to the semifinal round only.
And then there was this: LIT 14 R27
I was trying to recall if I had been asked by anyone back in 2004 if they can repost my poem On Love, Technology and LDR. I couldn't recall any. Not that I despise having my poem posted on another blog. It's just that I find it amusing that it has been the topic of discussion at one point in time in the said blog.
It makes me smile and gather my thoughts regarding writing poems again. And as I've said in my blog post last Monday the muse was right in front of me all along.
Now, I am ready to dance with my muse.
And then there was this: LIT 14 R27
I was trying to recall if I had been asked by anyone back in 2004 if they can repost my poem On Love, Technology and LDR. I couldn't recall any. Not that I despise having my poem posted on another blog. It's just that I find it amusing that it has been the topic of discussion at one point in time in the said blog.
It makes me smile and gather my thoughts regarding writing poems again. And as I've said in my blog post last Monday the muse was right in front of me all along.
Now, I am ready to dance with my muse.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
To the moon and back?
I headed early to OLFU today to deliver the herbal soap that my dad makes. Ga is one of the regular customers of the papaya and citropine variants that my dad produces. She is also one of my barkada in the university who's asking me to take part in her business and travel to Cebu every once in a while to deal with her clients. I'm still thinking about it.Anyways, I made it a point to go there early because I don't want to disrupt classes and at the same time I don't want to leave the house with the blaring sun. I couldn't take that. My migraine will be triggered by too much exposure to sun and at the same time I don't want to risk another stroke.
So, I got there around 07:45, classes already started. I parked my little devil right beside Ga's Hyundai Sonata or Matrix (I guess, I'm not so sure. Hehehehe) and then I called her up. She went down in a few minutes and I gave her the package.
I was about to leave when Sir Tots, the dean of College of Arts and Sciences arrived riding his motorcycle. I told myself, Shit! Mapapakwento pa ako nito. There was a little chit-chat, he was inviting me to his office but I refused. Making the excuse that I don't want to be caught na tirik ang araw sa daan. He knew that I was hospitalized and that I only got a 6hr class every Saturday at a local college. That was when he told me, Bumalik ka na dito.I would welcome you anytime. But for now, you need to take a rest.
I was flattered and at the same time thankful that there are people who would still want me to be a part of their team. I've had several offers to teach full time or be part of the administration but I haven't committed to any of them yet.
God is good. All the time. He knows what we need and offers it to us. We only have to decide if we're gonna take it or not.
Woke up angry
...because of a bad stupid dream. I know I could be obsessive-compulsive at times when it comes to my clothes. I usually arrange them in the closet by means of color, sorted according to short and long sleeved shirts and polos, dress pants to jeans.
In my dream I was supposed to wear a blue shirt, polo or barong. However, when I got out of the shower I wore a white shirt. Then I drove somewhere, hindi ko na matandaan kung saan, and went back to change my clothes. I was shocked when I saw my cabinet disarranged and my clothes scattered around the floor. Weirdness of it all, it wasn't even in my room. I was in a social hall. So I asked the person in charge, I think she was my sister Ria, on what the hell just happened. I didn't hear her reply. I was fuming mad. Because one thing that I cannot tolerate is papakialaman mo ang gamit ko nang hindi ka nagpapaalam.
The issue wasn't resolved in my dream. I took off with my brother Buboy in a diese owner-type jeep similar to a wrangler but it was stainless. We've got 2 companions but I don't recall who they were.
Oh well, dreams. I woke up at five in the morning because of the stupid dream.
In my dream I was supposed to wear a blue shirt, polo or barong. However, when I got out of the shower I wore a white shirt. Then I drove somewhere, hindi ko na matandaan kung saan, and went back to change my clothes. I was shocked when I saw my cabinet disarranged and my clothes scattered around the floor. Weirdness of it all, it wasn't even in my room. I was in a social hall. So I asked the person in charge, I think she was my sister Ria, on what the hell just happened. I didn't hear her reply. I was fuming mad. Because one thing that I cannot tolerate is papakialaman mo ang gamit ko nang hindi ka nagpapaalam.
The issue wasn't resolved in my dream. I took off with my brother Buboy in a diese owner-type jeep similar to a wrangler but it was stainless. We've got 2 companions but I don't recall who they were.
Oh well, dreams. I woke up at five in the morning because of the stupid dream.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
What keeps me sane nowadays
My notebook and mini-component keeps me company. I tinker with it a lot. Hopefully, I will be able to work from home representing an international company (AT&T, I guess) if and when the negotiations clicked. But that will be a separate blog entry if it pushes through. For now, I want you to take a peek of my gadgets.
Ever since I quit my job last December 16th, I have never regretted that decision. I learned how to love myself and give priority to my health the hard way. When I started being part of the entire workforce back in 1996, I never once stopped. If and when I resigned from one job, a few days later I would start on a new one. So the word vacation was really not in my vocabulary. I would work harder than anyone else because I wanted to be the best in everything I do. I know that I am a perfectionist much more an idealist which makes people close to me smirk whenever I turn into this rationalist maniac once in a while.
But now, everything changed and I am moving slower than my usual pace. In fact I hardly move. I keep still. But my mind wanders around. Perhaps that's the reason my neurologist gave me this regulated drug. I refused to take it at first, specially when I was in the hospital. But I realized that I needed it, so I gave in. Initially I took 1/4 tablet before bedtime. But I guess my tolerance was really that high. So now he makes me take half a tablet every night.
I learned how to treat myself right. Andaming magagalit sa akin kapag hindi eh. Hindi rin ako magiging masaya sa underworld kung saka-sakali. Kaya heto, nagpapakabait ako at sinusunod ng mga doctor. Hehehehe!
Ever since I quit my job last December 16th, I have never regretted that decision. I learned how to love myself and give priority to my health the hard way. When I started being part of the entire workforce back in 1996, I never once stopped. If and when I resigned from one job, a few days later I would start on a new one. So the word vacation was really not in my vocabulary. I would work harder than anyone else because I wanted to be the best in everything I do. I know that I am a perfectionist much more an idealist which makes people close to me smirk whenever I turn into this rationalist maniac once in a while.
But now, everything changed and I am moving slower than my usual pace. In fact I hardly move. I keep still. But my mind wanders around. Perhaps that's the reason my neurologist gave me this regulated drug. I refused to take it at first, specially when I was in the hospital. But I realized that I needed it, so I gave in. Initially I took 1/4 tablet before bedtime. But I guess my tolerance was really that high. So now he makes me take half a tablet every night.
I learned how to treat myself right. Andaming magagalit sa akin kapag hindi eh. Hindi rin ako magiging masaya sa underworld kung saka-sakali. Kaya heto, nagpapakabait ako at sinusunod ng mga doctor. Hehehehe!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
New shoes
Bought new shoes last week as my birthday present. It's a cheap one at around P250 at a Muslim tiangge. I was particularly attracted with the design since I am a sucker for boots. The material was also light and soft. But before I bought it, I thought long and hard if I really could shell out that money for it considering the fact that I am currently jobless right now and if I needed it that bad (I have several pairs of dress shoes but none of them is black). So I went home with that thought in mind.
After several hours, I went back and bought it. It felt good to have a new pair of shoes that I liked. Since I could wear it only during my classes, I waited for two more days before putting it on and giving it a try.
Come Saturday, I put it on and went to my class. As expected, my students noticed the shoes. And they loved it. Only when I was about to go home when I noticed that the sole was broken. It couldn't be glued back on. So, I immediately went to Mr. Quickie to have it fixed. The CS said it could, but it would take 3 days for them to fix it. Oh, well I told myself I could wait.
So I took P300 out of my pocket to have it fixed. Here it is now:
I am so happy! Hehehe! ;)
After several hours, I went back and bought it. It felt good to have a new pair of shoes that I liked. Since I could wear it only during my classes, I waited for two more days before putting it on and giving it a try.
Come Saturday, I put it on and went to my class. As expected, my students noticed the shoes. And they loved it. Only when I was about to go home when I noticed that the sole was broken. It couldn't be glued back on. So, I immediately went to Mr. Quickie to have it fixed. The CS said it could, but it would take 3 days for them to fix it. Oh, well I told myself I could wait.
So I took P300 out of my pocket to have it fixed. Here it is now:
I am so happy! Hehehe! ;)
Monday, January 21, 2008
Ika-100 taon ng UP
hiram kay Tina B.
1. Student number?
91-15074
2. College?
UP Diliman - College of Social Sciences and Philosophy (1st 2 years)
UP Diliman - College of Arts and Letters
3. Ano ang course mo?
BA Sociology pero na-discourage kasi hindi ako pinayagan kumuha ng lit subjects that's why I shifted to the next..), BA Philippine Studies (kaso by the time na pumasok ako, under na ng Department of Filipino kaya naging BA Araling Pilipino)
4. Nag-shift ka ba o na-kickout?
Nag-shift.
5. Saan ka kumuha ng UPCAT?
UP Diliman, Sa AS.
6. Favorite GE subject?
Kas I
7. Favorite PE?
PE I lang kasi kinuha ko, varsity kasi eh
8. Saan ka nag-aabang ng hot guy sa UP?
I don't go for hot guys. I'm a lesbian. Sa AS 101 maraming nagpapa-cute, SA kasi ako sa CSSP.
9. Favorite prof(s)
Professor Joi Barrios (kahit para akong manok tuwing umaga sa kakabuga niya ng usok) Professor Laura Samson ng Sociology
Professor Monico Atienza ng Philippine Studies
10. Pinaka-ayaw na GE subject.
Math 1. Asar! Isa pa, STS.
11. Kumuha ka ba ng Wed or Sat classes?
Yep, sayang oras eh. Andun din naman ako ng MWF for varsity training.
12. Nakapag-field trip ka ba?
Naman! Cultural History, kay Prof. Medina. Punta kami sa Batangas. Saka sa Hum II sa Lucena.
13. Naging CS ka na ba or US sa UP?
Hmmmmm...after my first and second year, lagi na ako CS.
14. Ano ang Org/Frat/Soro mo?
UP Volleyball Varsity Team, Beta Lambda Kappa
15. Saan ka tumatambay palagi?
Sa AS 101, dun ako nagta trabaho eh. Kung wala ako dun, nasa gym ako naghihintay ng oras for training. Pag lunchtime, sa chapel (1st two years lang).
16. Dorm, Boarding house, o Bahay?
Bahay. Nakakauwi ako kahit madaling-araw.
17. Kung walang UPCAT test at malaya kang nakapili ng kurso mo sa UP, ano yun?
Medicine.
18. Sino ang pinaka-una mong nakilala sa UP?
Hala, di ko na maalala. Si Lee ata, blockmate ko.
19. First play na napanood mo sa UP?
Di ko na matandaan. Hehehehe.
20. Name the 5 most conyo orgs in UP
Don't mind and I don't care.
21. Name 5 of the coolest orgs/frats/soro in UP.
Away ata kapupuntahan nito eh!
22. May frat/soro bang nag-recruit sa yo?
Yep.
23. Saan ka madalas mag-lunch?
UP Diliman -- Beach House. At ang sari-saring Aristocart sa campus.
24. Masaya ba sa UP?
Naman!
25. Nakasama ka na ba sa rally?
Di ka UP student kapag di ka nakasama sa rally.
26. Ilang beses ka bumoto sa Student Council
Taon-taon.
27. Name at least 5 leftist groups in UP
Kailangan pa ba i-memorize 'yan?
28. Pinangarap mo rin bang mag-laude nung freshman ka?
Nope. Pero muntik na, 1.76 ang average ko when I graduated.
29. Kanino ka pinaka-patay sa UP?
Hmmmm.. wala, focused ako sa aral, volleyball at trabaho.
30. Kung di ka UP, anong school ka?
UST, pinipilit ako ni Sister Ave ng St. Mary's na dun mag-aral nung nalaman niyang papasok ako ng UP.
1. Student number?
91-15074
2. College?
UP Diliman - College of Social Sciences and Philosophy (1st 2 years)
UP Diliman - College of Arts and Letters
3. Ano ang course mo?
BA Sociology pero na-discourage kasi hindi ako pinayagan kumuha ng lit subjects that's why I shifted to the next..), BA Philippine Studies (kaso by the time na pumasok ako, under na ng Department of Filipino kaya naging BA Araling Pilipino)
4. Nag-shift ka ba o na-kickout?
Nag-shift.
5. Saan ka kumuha ng UPCAT?
UP Diliman, Sa AS.
6. Favorite GE subject?
Kas I
7. Favorite PE?
PE I lang kasi kinuha ko, varsity kasi eh
8. Saan ka nag-aabang ng hot guy sa UP?
I don't go for hot guys. I'm a lesbian. Sa AS 101 maraming nagpapa-cute, SA kasi ako sa CSSP.
9. Favorite prof(s)
Professor Joi Barrios (kahit para akong manok tuwing umaga sa kakabuga niya ng usok) Professor Laura Samson ng Sociology
Professor Monico Atienza ng Philippine Studies
10. Pinaka-ayaw na GE subject.
Math 1. Asar! Isa pa, STS.
11. Kumuha ka ba ng Wed or Sat classes?
Yep, sayang oras eh. Andun din naman ako ng MWF for varsity training.
12. Nakapag-field trip ka ba?
Naman! Cultural History, kay Prof. Medina. Punta kami sa Batangas. Saka sa Hum II sa Lucena.
13. Naging CS ka na ba or US sa UP?
Hmmmmm...after my first and second year, lagi na ako CS.
14. Ano ang Org/Frat/Soro mo?
UP Volleyball Varsity Team, Beta Lambda Kappa
15. Saan ka tumatambay palagi?
Sa AS 101, dun ako nagta trabaho eh. Kung wala ako dun, nasa gym ako naghihintay ng oras for training. Pag lunchtime, sa chapel (1st two years lang).
16. Dorm, Boarding house, o Bahay?
Bahay. Nakakauwi ako kahit madaling-araw.
17. Kung walang UPCAT test at malaya kang nakapili ng kurso mo sa UP, ano yun?
Medicine.
18. Sino ang pinaka-una mong nakilala sa UP?
Hala, di ko na maalala. Si Lee ata, blockmate ko.
19. First play na napanood mo sa UP?
Di ko na matandaan. Hehehehe.
20. Name the 5 most conyo orgs in UP
Don't mind and I don't care.
21. Name 5 of the coolest orgs/frats/soro in UP.
Away ata kapupuntahan nito eh!
22. May frat/soro bang nag-recruit sa yo?
Yep.
23. Saan ka madalas mag-lunch?
UP Diliman -- Beach House. At ang sari-saring Aristocart sa campus.
24. Masaya ba sa UP?
Naman!
25. Nakasama ka na ba sa rally?
Di ka UP student kapag di ka nakasama sa rally.
26. Ilang beses ka bumoto sa Student Council
Taon-taon.
27. Name at least 5 leftist groups in UP
Kailangan pa ba i-memorize 'yan?
28. Pinangarap mo rin bang mag-laude nung freshman ka?
Nope. Pero muntik na, 1.76 ang average ko when I graduated.
29. Kanino ka pinaka-patay sa UP?
Hmmmm.. wala, focused ako sa aral, volleyball at trabaho.
30. Kung di ka UP, anong school ka?
UST, pinipilit ako ni Sister Ave ng St. Mary's na dun mag-aral nung nalaman niyang papasok ako ng UP.
When the Muse refuses to come..
then I do not seek. I keep silent. I stay fixed. I breathe.
That's what I've been doing for the past years. I do not seek my Muse because she wishes not to. All along she was staring at me, looking at me straight in the eye and waiting for me to notice her.
Alas, tonight I saw the look in her eyes. I have wandered for too long, and she just stayed right in front of me. Taking back steps as I move forward towards her, still not noticing her. No, she doesn't want to make any sound. She was just right there in front of me. Looking at me in the eye, wanting me to exhale all the negative elements bottled up inside of me. Yet she couldn't, more so wouldn't show me. I have to do it myself. I have to let the spirits out. I have to pop the cork and set them all free.
And so I am. Free from all the anger and pain. The disappointments and fears. I am me. Aware of my being.
My Muse didn't refused to come. I was the one who refused to let her in.
That's what I've been doing for the past years. I do not seek my Muse because she wishes not to. All along she was staring at me, looking at me straight in the eye and waiting for me to notice her.
Alas, tonight I saw the look in her eyes. I have wandered for too long, and she just stayed right in front of me. Taking back steps as I move forward towards her, still not noticing her. No, she doesn't want to make any sound. She was just right there in front of me. Looking at me in the eye, wanting me to exhale all the negative elements bottled up inside of me. Yet she couldn't, more so wouldn't show me. I have to do it myself. I have to let the spirits out. I have to pop the cork and set them all free.
And so I am. Free from all the anger and pain. The disappointments and fears. I am me. Aware of my being.
My Muse didn't refused to come. I was the one who refused to let her in.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
I want out
Making a difference in the lives of people has always been my passion. Touching lives and crossing boundaries of convention made me an unorthodox educator for the past years. Our Supreme Being also blessed my family with enormous talents which could be utilized for the benefit of humankind. With this in hand, I believe that I would best fulfill my purpose in life as an educator/entrepreneur.
Thus, I am tendering my irrevocable resignation effective 05 November 2007.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to experience public service at its best. Being a part of this agency brought insurmountable realizations and insights on the true meaning of service to the people.
This was the letter that I wrote yesterday. Everybody in the office was shocked.
I had to.
For my own good.
Thus, I am tendering my irrevocable resignation effective 05 November 2007.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to experience public service at its best. Being a part of this agency brought insurmountable realizations and insights on the true meaning of service to the people.
This was the letter that I wrote yesterday. Everybody in the office was shocked.
I had to.
For my own good.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Gadgets
Finally, my sister got the desktop computer and had it placed inside their room. I can now have peace and quiet in my own room without her and her kids every time I come home. As part of the package I made sure that she has internet connection. So, that's what kept me busy half of the day yesterday.
Come lunchtime, I waited for Glen to come by and deliver the slightly used laptop so that I could have my own internet access right in the privacy of my own room (yeah, yeah.. you know what I mean). He promised to be at our house at two thirty but managed to drop by at around four. I thought the deal was off. But when he showed me item, I liked it. It's so cute. Hehehehe!.
- 500 Mhz, 128 mb RAM
- 12 gb of HDD
- 2 PCMCIA slots
- 1 USB port
- USB external floppy drive
- Adaptor
The battery lasts around 30-45 minutes so I've got to have the battery repacked. He says it costs P1,200 in Cubao.
I can upgrade it if I want to. But for the meantime I am glad I can use it at home and take it anywhere I want to because it's so thin. Hehehe.
He also gave me a PCMCIA card modem as a freebie. So, I used it last night to surf the net. I am satisfied (for now). Hehehehe. It cost me less than 10k for this. I was supposed to buy a PDA dual sim phone (Q77i) at the HUG store in Baclaran but I deferred it (will have a separate post about the Q77i).
My wife would really go nuts if she finds out that I have my eye on another phone. Hehehe.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
For the nth time, I was in the hotseat during lunchtime with the Chief. This was my second day at work after a two-day sick leave.
Yesterday when she asked for the results of the medical tests I took, she accidentally saw the application for permanent residence in Canada form. She looked at me and said
"O, aalis ka na ba?"
"Matagal pa ho."
She saw my tribal necklace which I personally made last Monday. Sabi niya, kaya daw ako nagkakasakit dahil sa kwintas ko na pang-anito. Napatawa na lang ako at sinabing, katutubong Pilipino ho kasi ako. Naniniwala sa mga anito. Hehehe.
Then she asked me again if I have friends who are applying as PAs or staff in our agency.
Simple questions. But it makes me wonder, saan ba papunta 'to? Then she dropped the bomb:
"Akala ko ba naga-apply dito girlfriend mo?
I answered the question.
"Hindi po. Nasa Canada na siya."
"Kaya ka pala nagkakasakit eh. Paano kung mag-asawa na 'yun dun?"
I just smiled. Gusto ko sabihin sa kanya, "Hindi mo ko maaagaw 'no!"
Hehehehe.
Yesterday when she asked for the results of the medical tests I took, she accidentally saw the application for permanent residence in Canada form. She looked at me and said
"O, aalis ka na ba?"
"Matagal pa ho."
She saw my tribal necklace which I personally made last Monday. Sabi niya, kaya daw ako nagkakasakit dahil sa kwintas ko na pang-anito. Napatawa na lang ako at sinabing, katutubong Pilipino ho kasi ako. Naniniwala sa mga anito. Hehehe.
Then she asked me again if I have friends who are applying as PAs or staff in our agency.
Simple questions. But it makes me wonder, saan ba papunta 'to? Then she dropped the bomb:
"Akala ko ba naga-apply dito girlfriend mo?
I answered the question.
"Hindi po. Nasa Canada na siya."
"Kaya ka pala nagkakasakit eh. Paano kung mag-asawa na 'yun dun?"
I just smiled. Gusto ko sabihin sa kanya, "Hindi mo ko maaagaw 'no!"
Hehehehe.
We should not seek revenge on those who have committed crimes against us, or reply to their crimes with other crimes. We should reflect that by the law of karma, they are in danger of lowly and miserable lives to come, and that our duty to them, as to every being, is to help them to rise towards Nirvana, rather than let them sink to lower levels of rebirth.
- His Holiness the Dalai Lama
- His Holiness the Dalai Lama
Monday, July 23, 2007
A-ok
Nothing is wrong with me. That’s from the point of view of the doctor who ordered the treadmill test. I was able to withstand 10 minutes and 27 seconds under modified bruce protocol but didn’t finish the required 15 minutes. During the exercise, I had chest pains but it wasn’t that bad. When they asked me if I could take it, I said yes. The cardiologist said it was weird because she couldn’t see any abnormality reflected in my ECG. So, when she signed the results, the interpretation was Negative for exercise induced myocardial ischemia. Patient achieved 10.1 mets at 90% MPHR.
So it is official that I don’t have a heart problem.
It was probably stress related, so they say. I don’t need the two-week vacation that the chiropractic therapist was requesting me to take.
It means I have to get back to work tomorrow.
So it is official that I don’t have a heart problem.
It was probably stress related, so they say. I don’t need the two-week vacation that the chiropractic therapist was requesting me to take.
It means I have to get back to work tomorrow.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Will power
Called in sick last Friday. I had a terrible headache Thursday night after work that I decided to see a doctor (as I was prodded by so many people). Friday morning I went to the clinic and consulted with a family med doctor. She read my history and found out that I had 2 pending tests to undergo - perimetry test and EEG. So, she ordered me to take the tests but the EEG was replaced by a treadmill test and then referred me to a neurologist.
Sunday, morning I went to see my neurologist and he told me that I have a complicated migraine. He gave me three different sets of medicine. Propranolol, which I should take twice a day for a period of forty five days; Ibuprofen, when normal headache occurs; and lastly Avamigran, for classic migraine attacks. I'll go back after a month to see if I responded to the first medicine he gave me.
This week, I have to check if the HMO approved the two tests that the doctor ordered. If approved I had to call the hospital to schedule the procedure. For perimetry, it's going to be done at UST. For the tread mill stress test I can have it done at the
My uncle proposes another cure. He says he could administer chiropractic therapy on me but I need to take a leave of absence from work for two weeks. I'm not sure if I am amenable to that. But I thought of asking my boss if she could temporarily reassign me to our district office near my house so that I could still go to work even if I am under therapy. But before I could do that I need to secure a medical certificate from my doctors.
I still feel weak. The chest pains are still there although they are intermittent. The headache attacks have been minimized but I still got this eerie feeling. My blood pressure is consistent at 90/60.
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