Hawakan mo ang manibela
paliparin ang gunita sa mga ala-ala
lunurin ang sarili sa hangin ng pagsinta
hanggang sa umangat ang gulong sa kalsada.

Subukan mong bitawan ang manibela
tanggalin ang kontrol sa mapagbirong tadhana
isabay ang katawan sa paghampas ng gunita
hanggang maramdaman mong ang katawa'y patang-pata na.

Lamunin ka man ng alikabok at ulan
hayaang pumailanlang sa kalawakan ang iyong agam-agam
buksan ang puso sa katotohanan
na ika'y isang sinumpang nilalang.

Kaya't sa saliw ng hangin ika'y pumailanlang
kalimutan ang lahat at iyong ipaglaban
pag-ibig na tunay ay iyong panghawakan
ilang libong taon man ang magdaan,

ikaw lang, ikaw lang.

Kaya mula ngayon sa katotohan isisilang
ang sinumpang nilalang na nasadlak sa kalawakan
unti-unting gabayan sa pagtayo sa kawalan
mula sa kinasasadlakang kasinungalingan.

On fears and trust

This I learned and relearned for the nth time..

Never think that I believe I should set out a "system of teaching" to help people understand the way. Never cherish such a thought. What I proclaim is the truth as I have discovered it and "a system of teaching" has no meaning because the truth can’t be cut up into pieces and arranged in a system.

- Diamond Sutra
I should identify my fears, I once thought that I have none. But now, everything changed. Everything.

IDENTIFY THE FEARS THAT KEEP YOU FROM YOUR DREAMS
by Lisa Jimenez, M. Ed.


Most people spend their energy running from, or denying their fears. They waste this precious energy in denial. They react with excuses, anxiety, sabotage, and self-defeating behaviors. Don’t let this happen to you! When you expose your true fears, you break their control over you. Have the courage to face your fears and free yourself to get on with all you were meant to do, have, and be.

Which fear has the most control over you and your behaviors today? Is it the fear of rejection? Fear of failure? Fear of making decisions? Fear of commitment and responsibility? Fear of loss? Fear of success?

Or is it a combination of these fears? Take some time to evaluate your behaviors and find the messages of fear in them. We’ll go through each of these fears in the next few articles and discover which fears are holding you back.

Identify the Fears That Keep You from Your Dreams!

Gusto kong maglahong parang bula.

SMCM Intrams 2008

Ethan and Janna dancing Push It



Went to my HS alma mater before going to work this morning. I kinda miss being in HS. Lots of memories. Hmmmmm.. I also felt proud of my nephew and godson Ethan and my niece and goddaughter Janna for performing well this morning.
Ganun pala feeling ng may anak! Ehek!

What is the self? If something is true, is real, is constant, is a foundation of a nature that is unchanging, this can be called the self. For the sake of sentient beings, in all the truths I have taught, there is such a self. This, monks, is for you to cultivate.

- Mahaparinirvana Sutra

Sunday treat

After mass this morning I got myself a little treat. I ate at Kitaro, bought my phone a new 512 MB DV RS-MMC (that's the highest my phone could handle, too bad!) and a new back support. My old back support is almost 18 years old and its time that I got a new one.

I got my wife volumes 10-12 of the Lobo series. She loves the character of Lyka and Noah so much because they remind her of us. Hehehehe! I haven't watched the entire series yet, I might do so when I'm with her during sembreak. The sales lady told me that there's volumes 13-15 yet to be released by ABS-CBN. Geez! My wife's going to get crazy, Mahaba-habang puyatan na naman ito!

My Mom was worried last night, I went to bed early. Unusual since its a weekend. My Dad told me that Mom was telling her that I should have used the A/C last night. It was freaking humid and when that happens, I find it hard to breath. Para kasi akong kandilang nauupos, nanghihina ako. I told my Dad that I'm okay.

I'm so blessed I have them in my life.

;)

TGIF

I had a busy day. Early in the morning I did all the paper work I left last night. I couldn't function well last night after the meeting. I was exhausted. But before I went home I had to check on my people. I did my round of the campus and found out that one of my utility personnel was sleeping inside the tricycle during his work hours. I talked to the guy and asked for an explanation. Told him that next time I will serve him with a written warning.

In class, I had a wonderful time. HRM 2A is one of my favorite sections in the college. They're all attentive, interested and willing to learn. Even if I'm not in the mood to deliver a lecture, just one question from them and my interest and passion would start to surge. I rarely get that from private school students. That is the reason why I am happy serving in a local public college.

I'm just having a hard time adjusting to the position, never in my dreams did I aspire on becoming a school administrator. I just wanted to share what I know and what I've experienced with students.

For now, I am just thankful that it's Friday. And tomorrow is my rest day.

Extended

My temporary appointment as Acting Dean of the College has been extended until the second week of September. Geez! More responsibilities, paper works and the likes. I thought that it's going to be just for a few days.

The meeting has just been adjourned and now I've got a lot of things to do. Tomorrow is another day. Thank God it's Friday!

Dreaded day

I hate Thursday and Saturdays. Why? Because of the admin council meeting. Kainis! Haaaay. Thursday na naman ngayon, aabutin na naman ako ng gabi mamaya. Iniisip ko na lang wala akong pasok sa Saturday kasi holiday kaya mejo magaan ang pakiramdam. Hehehehe..

Mas masarap talaga magturo kesa magka-posisyon.

Acting Dean

This has been a very busy day for me. From paper works in the morning, class in the middle of the day, to another administration meeting with the clerks in the afternoon.. hah! What can I say? Toxic. And to think that the effective date of me being an acting dean for an entire week will be tomorrow. OMG!

For a week I'm going to have a taste of what it's like to be a dean of the college (as if I didn't know that and as if I am not acting like one for the past few months). Well, at least it's official. I never thought that I'm going to be the one who'll be put in that position since I am new as an administrator - four months to be exact. And it is only this month that I got the title of Human Resource Management Officer. Whew! I've been acting as officer-in-charge for the past four months. And now that I'm the HRM Officer, I will be put to the test.

More paper works, more policies to deliberate, concerns to be heard, problems to be solved.

Ah, talk about the price I have to pay for going on a scheduled vacation this coming sem break. Ahhhgggg!

Handang Maghintay, Noel Cabangon

Kay layo nating dalawa
Lagi’t lagi kang ala-ala
Minsan sa’king panaginip
Doon lang kita nakakaniig

Ang mga sulat mo’y, lagi kong tangan-tangan
Sa Poon ay dasal, d ka pababayaan
Akoy naririrto, magkalayo man tayo
Handang maghintay sayo

Magkalayo man ang ating mundo
Ikaw ang laging nasa aking puso
Tulad ng awit ng ating pag-ibig
Sa tuwina ay naririnig

Ang mga sulat mo, lagi kong tangan-tangan
Sa Poon ay dasal, d ka pababayaan
Akoy naririrto, magkalayo man tayo
Handang maghintay sayo

What kind of person am I?

Am I the kind of person who makes things happen?

Am I the kind of person who watch things happen?

Am I the kind of person who ask, what happened?

This morning, these are the questions which I wanted to reflect on.

I had a troubled night. Even before I tucked myself in to bed I experienced chest pains. Quite normal for me. But I had a hard time sleeping.

A text message shocked the hell out of me. I sat in my bed and cried.

What kind of person am I?

This I have to reflect on. For now, let me drive. I need to clear things out of my head. Where am I going? I don't know. I just need to drive.

Basic customer service

I am fuming mad. All afternoon I've been waiting for a person who made a promise to deliver an item at a specific time. I received an early text message informing me that all documents will be delivered in the morning. I acknowledged and waited. But I stayed in the office until five in the afternoon for the document, still no one from that office even bothered to call me up or send me a text message. Talk about basic customer service.

I tried to call, once, twice, thrice until I lost count. I decided to drop by their office. I confronted the assistant, still I didn't get a satisfactory answer. All I got were apologies. I told her she could have called me up if they couldn't deliver it on time so that I'll be the one to get it from their office. A simple courtesy like that would have been appreciated, but no, not even a word.

This evening, after stopping by at their office twice today, I got a text message apologizing for the delay. I answered politely but stressed that they should deliver on the date they said they will, that's basic customer service.

Pasalamat sila at polite pa ako. Kontrolado ko pa galit ko niyan. 'Yan ang isa sa mga ikinakukulo ng dugo ko, ang di pagtupad sa takdang usapan. Gusto mo kong galitin? Bigyan mo ako ng araw at oras pagkatapos huwag kang sumipot.

Sabi nga ni Miss Apple sa training session ko sa kanya, may dalawang klase ng customer - isang walker at isang talker. During the training I admitted that I am a walker. But now, I am starting to become a talker.

Oldie kasi..

Misis Tikboy: dapat bleeding heart ang song ko syo eh... hahahaha!
Mr. Tikboy: nyaiks!
Mr. Tikboy: kaw talaga
Mr. Tikboy: i love you..
Mr. Tikboy: mwaaaaah!
Misis Tikboy: hehehehe... ganda naman lyrics nun ah..
Mr. Tikboy: sino nga ba kumanta nun?
Misis Tikboy: teka, alam mo ba ung song na un prof oliva?
Mr. Tikboy: naririnig ko mahal..
Misis Tikboy: leona lewis
Mr. Tikboy: nagpapatugtog sila dito eh, hindi ba jordin stark un?
Misis Tikboy: hahahahahahah!
Misis Tikboy: hahahahaha!
Mr. Tikboy: mali pa ata ako sa pangalan!
Mr. Tikboy: hekhekhek!
Misis Tikboy: mahal ha.... buti na lang nde tayo magkasama ngayon... napaiyak mo na naman ako sa tawa
Misis Tikboy: hahahahaha!
Misis Tikboy: una sa lahat si leona lewis ang kumanta nung song.
Misis Tikboy: pangalawa, nde jordin stark kung nde jordin sparks.
Mr. Tikboy: hehehe.. hindi ko ata alam un song na yun.. bago lang ba?
Mr. Tikboy: eh di naluluha ka na naman sa tawa nyan?
Misis Tikboy: hahahaha! c jordin sparks un nanalo sa american idol na kumanta ng tattoo..
Mr. Tikboy: hehehe.. di talaga ko updated
Mr. Tikboy: hindi ko siya kilala at hindi ko rin alam ung tattoo!
Ma-L: naslap ko pa nuo ko sa kakatawa nung sinabi mo un jordin stark
Mr. Tikboy: ehek!

Dying to have one of these

HP 2133 Mini-Note PC
Operating system installed SUSE Linux Enterprise Desktop
Via C7-M (1.2G)
1024MB DDR RAM
56K Modem, 802.11b/g,Bluetooth
120GB HDD
3-Cell LiIon Battery
Linux
ASUS EEE PC 901
Genuine Windows XP® Home
GNU Linux
8.9"
Intel® Atom N270
WLAN: 802.11 n
Bluetooth: YES
1GB (DDR2)
SSD 12GB (Genuine Windows® XP Home)
SSD 20GB (Linux)
1.3M Pixel
Dolby Sound Room Certified
Stereo speaker
Digital Array Mic
6 Cells, 4.2 ~ 8 hrs*(Genuine Windows® XP Home)
6 Cells, 4.5 ~6 hrs*(Linux)
1.1 kg
Red, Green, Black, Peony White, Pearl White and Fine Ebony
Acer Aspire One
8.9-inch 1024 x 600 LED-backlit display
1.6GHz Atom N270
512MB DDR2 SDRAM (expandable to 1GB)
1.3 megapixel camera, SDHC and multi-format media readers
802.11b/g, Ethernet, three USB 2.0, VGA, and 3.5mm audio out
One free mini PCI slot for WWAN
80GB hard drive (with XP) or 8GB solid state (with Linux)
2.5 to 5 hours between the 3 and 6-cell batteries in XP model, 3 or 7 hours on Linux
1kg (2.2 pounds)

Baha

Umaga pa lang walang tigil na ng kakatunog ang cellphone ko.

"May pasok po ba?"
"May pasok ba St. Mary's?"
"Nag-announce na ba?"

Tulog pa ako, napilitan akong gumising para sagutin ang mga text. Matindi na naman kasi hagupit ng hangin at gabi pa lang wala nang tigil ang ulan. Si Karen kasi, nag-landfall na kaninang alas siete ng umaga.

Nakapasok pa naman ako, elem at HS lang ang sinabing walang pasok. Pagdating sa school, text dito, sagot ng tawag sa landline. May pasok nga, pambihira. Parang mga hindi nakikinig sa radyo at nanunuod ng balita.

Hanggang mga bandang alas nueve, kinailangan nang ipaalam sa mga opisyal ang sitwasyon. Baha na sa mga major roads, magha-high tide pa ng lunchtime. Ang ending, nag-suspend rin ng klase mga bandang 11:25. Hindi pa ako agad nakauwi kasi kinailangan pang mag-check ng school premises. After lunch, nag-decide na kaming umuwi. Tumataas na kasi ang tubig. Wala na madaanan sa campus.



Pagdating ko dito sa bahay, ito ang bumungad sa akin... baha!








Kaya nga gusto ko nang lumipat ng bahay. Almost every other day na lang, basta matindi ang ulan ganito ang nabubungaran ko sa umaga at pag-uwi sa hapon.

Haaaaay!

In order to train in the path that would allow us to transform death, the intermediate state, and rebirth, we have to practice on three occasions: during the waking state, during the sleeping state, and during the process of death.

- His Holiness The Dalai Lama, "Sleeping, Dreaming and Dying"

Pampalipas oras

1) If you married the last person you kissed what would your last name be?
- she'll take my name

2) What did you do this afternoon?
- drafted policies, met and talked with people

4) What's the last thing to make you laugh?
- deliberate joke

5) Can you take a bra off with one hand?
- yep

6) Can you use chopsticks?
- yep

7) How old were you when you lost your first tooth?
- can't remember, probably around 5

8) Were you a hyper or mellow kid?
- hyper

9) Why did you throw up last?
- why or when? last december, i think

10) Last time you were drunk?
- new year's eve

11) What's for dinner?
- fried bangus with kamatis

12) Ever been to the Statue of Liberty?
- probably soon via helicopter

13) Voting for Hillary?
- she already lost to Obama

14) How many e-mail addresses do you have?
- 3

15) Do you HAVE to have brand name stuff?
- not necessarily

16) Last time you washed your hair?
- this morning

17) Is the last person you kissed attractive?
- very

18) Do you like Oreos?
- yep

19) Do you send out Thank-You cards?
- sometimes

20) Can you ice skate?
- a bit

21) Do you have a brother?
- yep, 2

22) Do you know how to change a diaper?
- yep

23) Do you flip people off while driving?
- yep, para daw akong grand prix driver sa curves pag naka-motorcycle

24) What is your favorite color ?
- moss green, brown

25) What are you listening to?
- i can hear the tv, my mom's watching the singing bee

27) Who's your favorite American Idol judge?
- i don't watch it

28) Do you like to grocery shop?
- with my wife, yes

29) What kind of mood are you in?
- sleepy

30) Last time you cleaned?
- yesterday, after a month or so

31) What is the last song you listened to?
- babaero by randy santiago, 'yun ang song sa singing bee eh

;)

Updates

Canceled my class this evening. I was supposed to have a class at six but my students extended their Humanities class because of a presentation. I couldn't wait another hour. I've been on campus for eleven hours and another hour could hurt me. I don't feel well. So, I decided to move it to another day.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I'm thinking of letting my Little Devil go. My wife, parents and friends are worried about my style of driving coupled with the fact that almost everyday motorcycle incidents have been reported. I will miss my Little Devil. But I've learned to let go of things for they are not part of me. Sooner or later I will have to let them go, I cannot take them to the place where I am going.

Drafting and Implementing policies

This morning I started my day with a brief meeting with the President. An incident happened last Saturday which prompted an immediate action. It may sound reactionary, yes. It actually is. I have to find ways to become proactive rather than reactive.

I am devoting the entire morning for drafting policies. After lunch I have to meet with the security team.

Ah, middle management blues.

Cell Phone Quiz

How Stuff Works

Quiz: cell phone quiz
Correct Answers: 9 out of 10
Wrong Answers: 1 out of 10
Your Average Correct: 90%

Para mi Corazón y Alma

Le he amado bastante mucho tiempo para guardar mi redoble de corazón. Siempre tengo, siempre voy a. Me he extraviado bastante lejos, bastante mucho tiempo aún siempre me encuentro atrás en sus armas. Usted es mi casa. Usted es mi vida. Usted es mi corazón y alma

¿Se casará usted conmigo?

Sé que no soy perfecto. Tengo defectos, le hice gritar. Y siento. Pero trataré de hacer cada día uno perfecto. Sólo verle sonreír. Sólo oír que usted se reía.

Por favor gaste el resto de su vida y el siguiente conmigo..

Engram

I've been hearing this word for the past few weeks over and over again. But I chose not to ask what it meant. Until today.. although I didn't ask, I searched for its meaning and found out that an engram is defined as "a mental image picture which is a recording of an experience containing pain, unconsciousness and a real or fancied threat to survival. It is a recording in the reactive mind of something which actually happened to an individual in the past and which contained pain and unconsciousness ... It must, by definition, have impact or injury as part of its content. These engrams are a complete recording, down to the last accurate detail, of every perception present in a moment of partial or full unconsciousnes."

The definition is taken from Scientology and Dianetics. A book was published by Ron Hubbard in the 1950's called Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health and I think we have that book somewhere in the house. I might go look for it one of these days.

In the Scientology website, I found an interesting explanation on engrams.

What is an engram?

The reactive mind does not store memories as we know them. It stores particular types of mental image pictures called engrams. Engrams are a complete recording, down to the last accurate detail, of every perception present in a moment of partial or full “unconsciousness.”

“Unconsciousness” could be caused by the shock of an accident, anesthetic used for an operation, the pain of an injury or the delirium of illness. During these times, the analytical mind shuts down in full or in part and the reactive mind cuts in, in full or in part. An engram exists below the individual’s awareness level yet it can be activated so as to enforce its content, and can cause unevaluated, unknowing and unwanted fears, emotions, pains and psychosomatic illnesses.

For example, a man playing baseball is hit in the head by a pitcher’s ball and knocked out. Someone yells out to the pitcher, “You are no good.” Although the man is unconscious, these words and everything else going on are recorded in an engram; the smell of the dirt where he lay, the feeling of sweat on his brow and the sensation of heat from the afternoon sun. Months or even years after the incident, while watching a baseball game, many of these factors recorded in the engram are present in his current environment. These can restimulate the engram. The man suddenly and inexplicably gets a headache. He might also feel that he was “no good.” This engram in the reactive mind has been restimulated. The reactive mind is attempting to “prevent” the man from “getting himself into danger.” The reactive mind is not very intelligent.

Such is the power and influence of engrams.

I haven't processed myself yet. But I know that if I did it's going to be painful. And I have to prepare myself for it.

The demon within, as what Socrates calls it, is simply my mind. My reactive mind who feels threatened. Afraid of change. I have to exorcise it.

Material shape is not yours,
nor are feeling, perception,
the constructions or consciousness.
These are not yours. Put them away.
- Buddha

"But as I look back at my life, it is easy to see that the times when my wisdom and understanding grew to new levels; those times when I approached becoming the person I long to be; it was always the times that followed negative circumstances."
- Vic Johnson

Connection

I woke up late. But I had to be in school before seven. I've got an exam to administer. So, even if I'm not feeling well I did my morning routine.

When I went inside the office, I did all the work that needs to be done. I don't want them to pile up on my desk. I finished it, gave it to the person concerned and then I started checking examination papers. The results were not that good. nag-nosebleed daw sila. After checking the papers, revisions for the other matrix that I submitted earlier came in. So, I revised it, printed it and then gave it to the department head. I wasn't feeling well.

I started having chest pains, intermittently. I stopped what I was doing. Took deep breaths and started making faces. I needed to do that, I asked for a chewing gum and started chewing it. Parang ang kapal na kasi ng mukha ko. Then I told them that I need to go home. That I won't be attending the meeting anymore.

At the other side of the globe I know something is not right. I can feel it.

Early bird

I'm an early riser. When the sun shines I make sure that I am out of bed. Not because I wanted to but because my body tells me so. Hindi kasi ako makatulog pag maliwanag na. So, even if it's a non-working holiday here in Bulacan I woke up at five. I was supposed to take a carpool to QC but my brother left early. Buti na lang late na umaalis si Yaku, nakalibre tuloy ako ng pamasahe hanggang E. Rod. Hehehehe! Went to PRC to renew my license. Huli na kaya may multa na treinta pesos. Okay lang, kala ko nga aabot ng isang libo. Mapapakamot talaga ako ng ulo. Buti naman P480 lang. Nakapagbayad pa tuloy ako ng postpaid phone bill ko. Hehehehe!

I have here with me a half dozen of krispy kreme. Gusto ko na nga lantakan kaso wala pa ako sa bahay. Agahan ko, maki at strawberry shake.

Gusto ko nga sanang lunch eh sisig sa Sisig Hooray kaso hindi pa pala open sa Trinoma. Kainis!

I'm happy because I'm all set to go. The ticket will be delivered by Jobel tomorrow. I got an early bird rate plus a kapamilya rate. Hehehe! Misis Tikboy, naka-save nga ba tayo ng almost $120?

I better go home now. Gutom na ako at kailangan ko pa uminom ng gamot.

Tekkie HR/Faculty

This morning one of my officemates approached me and asked if I could activate her 3G settings. I squinted and then asked her what network she uses. Then I got her phone and tinkered with it, a Nokia 6120. I didn't find the settings that I was looking for and told her that I'd get back to her. Sabi niya, baba ka na lang sa office ha? I nodded and asked if she already installed the PC suite. She said yes. Then I went on with my work.

I forgot all about until M'Regay approached me sometime after lunch. Hinihintay ka nila sa registrar's office ah, sabi mo daw bababa ka. Didn't know that they were dead serious about it. I went to their office and tinkered with the phone and tried using it as a modem. After several attempts, I succeeded. Sabi ni M'Cris, sa HRM office din ha? I smiled and said, sure just make sure you have a 3G phone working on Smart network and I'd configure it for you.

Getting the hang of it huh? Makes me wonder where I am now if I haven't left CyberSoft. Hmmmm...

International driving

I've been thinking of getting an international driving permit otherwise known as international driver's license since last week. I did inquire on how much it would cost and it's no joke, more or less two thousand for one day processing. But I trusted my instinct and asked a few friends who've been there, one of them is Tina B. She says that I just have to have my locally issued driver's license and passport and I'm good to go. I double checked the information from my fellow BNCer's and as usual I get results that are very informative. Thanks to dlreyes, engr.aidrian, bosstl, wilsonuy, lavander, zerocool and gearbox. I didn't know that the Philippines is one of the 67 countries whose representatives signed the 1968 Vienna Convention on Road Traffic. Cool!

Long and short of it, I didn't have to apply for IDP/IDL. I just have to bring my Philippine Driver's License and voila, I can drive in US soil.

Dinner sa mansion ni Mam T

Nag-dinner kami sa bahay ni M'Tubera nung Lunes. First time ko pumunta after so many invitations. Hanep, ang ganda ng bahay niya. Parang mansion. Niloloko nga namin na pwede na kaming mag-hold ng training dun. Sa music room niya, hindi pa naka-set up ang surround system pero hanep ang plasma TV. Nagpapa-ampon nga kaming lahat sa kanya eh. Hehehehe!

S60 phones and IMAP

Just now, I have tried configuring my Symbian S60 phone to receive and send e-mail messages. That way I can receive and send important e-mails using my phone. So far, I've successfully downloaded my messages. A little later I will try to send messages using my phone.

Hmmmm.. tech freak I am.. hahahaha!

For those using gmail, here's how to do it:

To configure IMAP for your Symbian S60 device, just follow these steps:

1. Enable IMAP in your Gmail settings.
2. Select 'Messaging' > 'Options' > 'Settings' > 'E-mail' > 'Mailboxes.'
3. If you have never set up email on your phone before, select 'Yes' to define a new mailbox. If you already have other mailboxes, select 'Options' and then 'New mailbox.'
4. Select 'Start' to begin the setup wizard.
5. Select 'IMAP4' and then 'Next.'
6. Enter your full email address (including '@gmail.com') as the email address and select 'Next.' Google Apps users, enter your full address in the format 'username@your_domain.com.'
7. Enter 'imap.gmail.com' as the incoming mail server and select 'Next.'
8. Enter 'smtp.gmail.com' as the outgoing mail server and select 'Next.'
9. Select the appropriate access point and then 'Next.'
10. Enter a descriptive name for the email account mailbox name.
11. Once your mailbox is set up, select it from the email mailbox settings screen.
12. Select 'Connection settings' > 'Incoming e-mail.'
13. Enter your address (including '@gmail.com' or '@your_domain.com') and password.
14. Select 'SSL/TLS' for your security (ports) and define your port as '993.'
15. Select 'Back.'
16. Select 'Outgoing e-mail.'
17. Enter your email address (including '@gmail.com' or '@your_domain.com') and password.
18. Select 'StartTLS' for your security (ports) and define your port as '587.'
19. Select 'Back' and change any other settings according to your preferences.
20. Check our recommended client settings, and adjust your client's settings as needed.

Twice a day

Balik twice a day.

'Yan ang drama naming mag-asawa ngayon. Magkalayo man kami, nakukuha pa rin naming mag-konek sa kahit anong paraan. Hindi namin maintindihan pero ganun talaga eh. Sabi ko nga sa kanya, tinigilan ko na ang pagtatanong at paghahanap ng sagot. Gusto ko na lang danasin, maramdaman.

Twice a day. Hmmmm... parang Crame days ito ah! 'Yun nga lang, LDR. Hahahaha!

Wine mixing and bartending

I got invited by my HRM class to evaluate their individual performance for the wine mixing / bartending exercise yesterday. I thought I was just going to watch them do the trick, but I was surprised when they told me that I'm supposed to taste all their concoctions! After thirty minutes of wine tasting, I begged off since I can't tolerate that much alcohol. It was the first time I heard of Tom Collins, Limeage and Gimlet.

Makes me wonder, mag-aral kaya ako ng bartending sa TESDA? Bagay daw kasi sa akin sabi ni Mam Cris. Hehehe!

3G power

Okay, this is not my history class so 3G doesn't stand for god, gold and glory. Hehehe! I am talking about third generation technology.

I've been struggling for an entire week because I do not have internet access at home. But now, thanks to 3G technology, I can access the web everywhere I go. Provided that I have with me my laptop and 3G-enabled phone.



I was supposed to susbcribe to Smartbro's plug-it internet so I inquired about it and found out that I should buy the USB modem for it and use my prepaid smart sim to access the internet. I asked the CSR if it is possible if I have a 3G-enabled phone and use it instead since plug-it internet basically uses 3G signal. She said yes. So, long and short of it I got a second hand Nokia N70 unit and configured it so that I could use it at home and in school.

Ah, the power of technology.

High tide or low tide?

How many islands does the Philippines have?

Ang tanong, kailan? Tuwing high tide or low tide?

I've asked this question in class several times now. And I get different reaction each semester depending on the profile of students. Ngayong sem lang ako naka-experience ng ganito



Tapos, kagabi sa meeting nag-report ang isang academic head. May estudyante daw na nagsabi sa kanya na merong kumukuha ng pictures habang tumatawid sa mga upuan ang mga estudyante para makarating sa kanilang mga klase. Worried lang daw siya kasi baka oposisyon daw at sinisiraan na naman ang school. Nagtaas ako ng kamay at nagsabing ako ang kumuha ng mga litrato for documentation purposes. Sabi ko pwedeng i-attach sa request letter 'yun kung sakaling mag-decide ang council na sumulat sa kinauukulan upang iparating ang kalagayan ng mga bata tuwing bumabaha.

Grabe, pulitika talaga. May administrasyon at oposisyon pa ba pagdating sa edukasyon? Nakaka-disillusion!

Otso-otso

Nung varsity pa ako, jersey number ko ay otso. Ito rin ang anniversary date namin ng misis ko. Noong humarap ako sa panel interview ng selection committee ng GSE, otso rin ang nakuha kong numero. At nung Martes, ito naman ang ibinigay sa akin sa gate



Talaga yatang ngayong taong ito, hindi ako hiniwalayan ng numero ko. Lucky number ko ba siya ngayong taon. Ang daming biyaya, hindi na nga naman alam ni misis kung saan sisimulan ang pasasalamat.

Sabi nga ng tatay ko kanina, when you say you can, half of what you want to accomplish is already done.

Kaya Misis Tikboy, humanda ka! Hahahaha! Mag ootso-otso tayo!

At pati si Dad naki-Tikboy

Ito si Tikboy kapag nasa opisina. Pero kapag nasa loob ng bahay at kasama ng asawa niya.. hmmmm.. secret! Hehehehe.. nakakatawa dahil pati tatay ni Tikboy, nakisali na rin sa pagtawag ng pangalang ito sa kanya. Sabi pa nga niya, ibig daw sabihin ng pangalan na 'yun "maloko", "naughty" at ewan ko pero hindi na niya sinabi ang isa pa habang tumatawa palayo sa akin.

Saan nga ba nanggaling itong si Tikboy? Sabi ng misis niya, sa komiks daw. Isang batang kita ang kalahati ng pwet (para ready mag shake the pwet?). Pero ang totoo, tinawag lang namang Tikboy si Tink dahil dito



Dati silang mag-asawa lang ang nakakaalam nito, pero dahil sa card na 'yun buong bayan na ang nakaalam.

Kung alam lang nila kung ano ang ginagawa ni Tikboy habang nagsi-shake the pwet! Hehehehe..

Nakuha sa ngiti

It's a wonder how a simple smile can affect the behavior of a person. We take it for granted yet a simple act of kindness and just a simple smile can actually alter the life of a human being. I never thought that it could really work wonders until last Tuesday.

I walked to the counter and was greeted with a smile, I smiled back and said "Good morning." I knew right then and there that things would turn out the way we wanted it to. I silently thanked God and looked at her intently as she started asking questions. I was confident and straight forward. After a minute or so, she said that I was set to go and instructed me to go to the pavilion and pay the shipping fee at Delbros.

Sabi nga ng kaibigan ko, "Nakuha mo na naman sa ngiti."

When you ride in a boat and watch the shore, you might assume that the shore is moving. But when you keep your eyes closely on the boat, you can see that the boat moves. Similarly, if you examine myriad things with a confused body and mind you might suppose that your mind and nature are permanent. When you practice intimately and return to where you are, it will be clear that nothing at all has unchanging self.

- "Actualizing the Fundamental Point" by Zen Master Dogen

Folk dance it is

I have never enjoyed folk dancing. I hate it when February comes. That's the time when we do our field demonstration back in elem and HS. That's why I really jumped for joy when I got exempted from physical education because I got into varsity volleyball. I never thought that at my age I would still do folk dancing. But this GSE thing is really pushing me to the limit. So, yesterday I changed my behavior towards it and accepted the fact that I will be doing it. I must admit that I actually enjoyed it. After so many years I enjoyed it.

Behavior modification really works wonders.

What people expect to happen is always different from what actually happens. From this comes great disappointment; this is the way the world works.

- Sutta Nipata

Misis Tikboy

I got a card from Misis Tikboy yesterday. And it made me smile. I missed reading her letters. It was the first time in two years that I got one from her and it made my heart beat real good. I even read it first before eating lunch. My mom was even asking me who she is, when I told her she just laughed and said Sira ulo kayong dalawa.

I wish I could post pictures Misis Tikboy, but you know I don't have internet access at home right now. Too bad. So sad.

I miss my laptop and my broadband connection. I won't be using them for at least a month. I'm working on a means to have internet access at the office but I'm not sure if I can actually negotiate it. I spend more time at the office rather than at home. And sometimes I need the internet to get information from the CSC. Like what happened yesterday. I made a presentation and several questions were thrown at me regarding legal concepts. Good thing me and Misis Tikboy had a little chat before that presentation, I did access the internet for some information before I went to the meeting. I did try to explain sexual harassment in the work place and they really turned serious. Hehehe.

One month. Just for a month. I have to access the internet away from home.

Pagsubok

Kahapon habang naliligo ako tumunog ang landline. Para sa akin daw sigaw ng kapatid ko. Si Atty. Punzalan, tumawag daw ako agad paglabas ko ng bathroom. Napaisip tuloy ako, alas sais ng umaga tumawag si PDG Manny? Seryoso 'yun ah! Kaya hindi pa ako nakakapagbihis, tinawagan ko agad siya. Pagsagot niya, sinabi na niya agad sa akin na may kulang na pirma ang papel ko at kailangan ma-accomplish ko 'yun buong araw dahil kailangan na niya ipadala sa RI. Nag shoot up ang adrenalin ko. Hindi ko naisip na matinding biyahe ang gagawin ko, mula Meycauayan hanggang Malolos. Malolos pabalik ng Meycauayan para mapirmahan ang papel at Meycauayan pabalik ulit ng Malolos para maibigay sa kanya ang mahiwagang papel. Bago ako umalis ng bahay, kinailangan ko munang pumasok sa office. Andun ang mga phone numbers ng mga taong kailangan kong makausap. Ang aga ko tuloy sa opisina, before seven andun na ako. Long and short of it, nagawa ko naman. Pero matinding byahe 'yun, ang init sa kalye at naka-motor lang ako. Hindi ko naramdaman ang pagod dahil busy ang utak ko kakaisip. Sabi ko nga sa asawa ko talagang sinusubukan kami.

Nagawa ko naman lahat. Napagalitan nga lang ako ng asawa ko dahil sa bilis kong magpatakbo.

Ang daming tanong ng mga nasa opisina, sigurado na daw ba. Sabi rin ng tatay ko mukhang tuloy na ako.

Sana nga. Pinaniniwalaan kong tuloy na ito.

Kung ukol, bubukol.

First, choose your unforgettable school:
:: University of the Philippines Diliman

This school will be connected to the question!

1. Bakit ka nahuhuli sa pila bago mag-flag ceremony?
:: Couldn't remember attending one in UP. Wala kaming ganun eh.

2. Anong fave mong bilhin sa canteen?
:: 'Yung spaghetti sa Casaa at mango shake sa kiosk na tambayan namin sa UP gym

3. Na-guidance/p.O.d/principal ka na ba?
:: Never. Nerd ako nun.

4. Sinong fave teacher mo doon?
:: Laura Samson sa sociology, first time ko kasi maka 1.0 sa paper. Hanep din magpagawa ng paper. Monico Atienza, moody pero ang galing! Joi Barrios, kahit na mukha akong manok sa klase niya at 7:30 in the morning dahil sa pagbuga niya ng usok. Di ko makakalimutan 'yang Philip Morris menthol na 'yan!

5. Tropa mo ba yung guard ng skul nyo?
:: Di naman masyado, kilala lang kasi SA ako sa CSSP

6. San ka usually tumatambay?
:: AS 101 saka sa UP gym

7. What's your most unforgettable experience?
:: Speech class, bad trip 'yun. Di ko talaga feel kasi magsalita sa harap ng maraming tao. Hindi ko nga alam bakit naging effective akong prof ngayon eh.

8. Most unforgettable experience in
:: what?

9. Sinong una mong nakilala sa
:: UP? Di ko maalala. Hahahaha!

10. Ilang beses mo nang nawala ung ID mo?
:: Once. Di ko na rin maalala kung bakit. Hindi naman kasi useful ang ID noon sa UP. Sa library lang namin ginagamit. We don't wear it. Laminated nga lang eh. Ngayon sosyal na, card type na ID nila. Baduy na rin kasi they wear it. Hahahaha!

11. Favorite classmates?
:: Si Raymund Narag, hanep pagdating sa discussion. Si Anya, di ko makalimutan kasi mga magulang niya namundok.

12. Most unforgettable person? Why?
:: Si Sir Inay ng CSSP. Parang tatay ko na 'yun. Isa sa naniwala na kaya kong maging isang magaling na manunulat.

13. I-describe ang mukha mo sa grad pic.
:: Describe? Di ba pwedeng i-post ko na lang dito?

14. Anong binibili mo sa labas tuwing uwian?
:: Labas ng alin? Eh open ang university. Hahahaha! Sige na nga, ang walang kamatayang fishballs.

15. Nakakita ka na ba ng multo sa school?
:: Hindi eh, takot ata sila sa akin.

16. Nangarag ka ba sa updating/paghahabol sa projects?
:: Kapag may kagrupo, oo. Hindi mo kasi kontrolado ang oras nila, hindi naman kasi naka-block section sa Diliman eh.

17. Anong unang-una mong ginawa right after graduation?
:: Umuwi at nagpalit ng damit. Di ko feel 'yung suot ko.

18. Ano naman ang papel mo sa special days?
:: Once, nagsayaw during the PEP rally for varsity. Lahat kasi ng team kailangan may presentation eh.

19. Favorite subject?
:: Anthro 181/187, Socio 132 (Deviant Behavior), Kas 114 (Filipino Nationalism).

20. Ok lng Kung papalitan ang color ng uniform niyo?
:: Di uso sa UP 'yan, kaya nga hanggang ngayon pasaway ako pagdating sa uniform!

21. Nasa Friendster mo ba yung crush mo sa skul na yon?
:: Siguro.

23. Kilala mo ba kung sino ang nag-post nito?
:: Hindi eh, pampatanggal stress lang kaya ko pinatulan 'to. Hehehe.

24. Sino sa mga ka-batch mo ang dapat isali sa STARSTRUCK?
:: Sa varsity? Lahat pwede, artistahin material eh! Hehehehe!

Behavior modifification

Wikipedia defines behavior modification as the use of empirically demonstrated behavior change techniques to improve behavior, such as altering an individual's behaviors and reactions to stimuli through positive and negative reinforcement of adaptive behavior and/or the reduction of maladaptive behavior through positive and negative punishment. The term was first used by Thorndike in 1911. It is a treatment approach in psychology based on the principles of operant conditioning. Don't get me wrong here, I am not a psychologist (though my first choice when I was thinking of a course in college was psychology) but I've recently realized that I've been using this approach in my everyday encounters with what we call life.

I used to be so idealistic back in high school and college. That changed when I went into government service, I became cynical. Now, I accept things as they are. I do not condone the things that are happening, it's just that I've realized that there are certain things in life that I couldn't control (goodbye to my oc-oc self). I've had several experiences in the past that brought a lot of heartaches and disillusionment. I blamed myself for it. Cursed myself for it. Thus, I summoned stress to come to me and eat me up.

When I started teaching Asian Civilization and encountered Buddhist teachings I began to feel a little bit different. I started to realize that all that's been happening to me I brought upon myself. So I changed my behavior. Slowly, I tried to adjust to things that I once thought I could control. Things that I thought I could change. I acknowledged their presence and then moved on. I accepted that I could not change them so I'll change my behavior towards them. And then things started falling into place.

The path to enlightenment is not easy. But if we accept the things we cannot change and try to alter our negative behavior about it, it will be easier.

Acceptance is the key.

My dad's been urging me to take dianetics seriously. He's been bugging me for a week now since he attended that seminar. He wants me to try it and has been pushing me to read the books he got so that I could practice and process my feelings. But I am not interested as of the moment.

Sometimes, you need to be ready for something to like it. You can't force anyone to like something just because you say that it works for you.

People skills

I have always been good at reading people. This I have proven time and time again. I don't know why, but they actually do confide to me. A simple glance, smile and at times bothered look and I can feel it coming. They would come to me and start a simple conversation that usually leads to a revelation of their deep, dark secrets. I don't know where I got it. Probably it's a gift.

I just wish that what I tell them after the conversation could somehow lead them to something good, something better. I don't have all the answers, but as always I am here to listen. It is my strength. It is my gift.

I will use my gift to serve those who need it and to honor the One who gave it to me.

Council meeting

Thursday na naman, after a hard day's work may council meeting pa. Akala ko nga pahinga muna kami ngayon. Pero nasa minutes kasi nung nakaraang Sabado na kailangan kong i-discuss ang grievance machinery sa council. Para kung may comments, maiayos agad at ma-move for adoption na next meeting. Kakapagod. Buti na lang nag-stick sa agenda ngayon. Pero humaba pa rin. At dahil gabi na at umuulan, napagdesisyunan na sa Sabado ko na lang i-discuss ang proposal. Mukhang isang buong session namin bubunuin 'yun. Kapagod!

Antok na ako. Kailangan ko na ng toothpick sa mata ko. Buti na lang parehas kaming may pasok ng asawa ko ngayon, kung hindi...

Hehehehe. Tama na muna ang naughty thoughts. Baka bigla na naman ako magising.

;)

Revisiting old friends

I went to PAO this morning for two reasons: one, to get my tax refund, ITR and Certificate of GSIS shares and two, to visit old friends from the Executive. I haven't seen or heard from them in a while (except for Tintin, who updates me on events up there). Bugol and Ryot went on silent mode since they started law school and Bernn is on study leave because he's gonna take the bar exam this September.

So this morning when I went there, they were surprised. And the usual pa burger ka naman hirit resounded at the 5th floor. Buti na lang wala si Chief! The usual kwentuhan updates, sana daw sinabi ko para nag-inuman kami sort of thing. Ang mga abogado, kay kukulit! Lalo na si Atty. Meiz. As usual, I stayed longer at the carpeted area with Ate Alu. Daming kwento eh.

One thing is certain, despite all that happened they know that I am extremely happy. Happier than when I was with them back in 2007.

And it's all because of you Mahal.

Mukha ng bata

Habang nasa sala ako kagabi..

Nicole: Ta BG, di ba ikaw ang pinaka panganay sa inyo?
BGko: Oo, bakit?
Nicole: Eh bakit hindi ka mukhang matanda?

Napakamot ako ng ulo, lokong bata 'to ah.. nambola pa. Masagot nga ng pabiro.

BGko: Eh kasi, wala akong anak na katulad niyong makulit!
Nicole:Eh! Hindi nga, bakit parang bata pa 'yung mukha mo?

Tiningnan ko siya, seryoso ang mukha at humihingi talaga ng sagot.

BGko: Wala kasi ako masyado iniisip, saka lagi akong nakikipaglaro sa inyo kaya mukha pa rin akong bata.

Wala na talaga ako maisip eh! Hehehe.. ipinasa ko siya sa Lola niya, at ang sabi ni Lola

Lola: Siguro kaya ka nagtatanong kasi panganay ka rin ano?

Oo nga naman!

Ang itlog na nabuo

Ikaw lang 'yung gustong-gusto kong mabuo nung nabuo ka e.

Hindi naman siya lasing nung sinabi niya ito. Andito lang ako sala, inaayos itong computer nang bigla niya akong niyakap at sinabi 'yun. Sinagot ko siya, hindi para bastusin kundi para ituro sa tamang direksyon.

Kaya ganun ang naramdaman mo, bago ako nabuo, nawalan ka muna ng isang anak.

Haaaay.. bakit nga kaya ganito ang tatay ko sa akin?

Time heals all wounds

People eventually get over insults, injuries, and hatreds. So, they say. But I know for a fact that these wounds leave a scar. A reminder of the insult, the injury, the hatred that one has felt at one point in time. The wound is healed but the scar will forever remain.

And so does love. For the course of true love never did run smooth.

Ang mahiwagang singsing

Ang dami nang pinagdaanan ng mga singsing na ito. Sa tindi ng mga dinanas na pagsubok, hindi siya kayang tanggalin ng sinuman sa daliri ko. Sinubukan na siyang bawiin sa akin, pero pinanindigan ko ang hindi pagsosoli. Ewan ko ba, pero talagang para siya sa mga daliring ito. Dito lang.

The GSE D-3770 Outbound Team for 2008-09

Handover Ceremony
Barcie International Center
City of Malolos, Bulacan
01 July, 2008

The power of gadgets

and of course, libido. Hehehehe.. one naughty afternoon..

T: Nasa bed ka?
A: Oo, bakit?
T: Dalhin mo laptop and webcam sa bathroom.
A: Ha? May kasama ako dito sa room.
T: Kaya nga.
A: Seryoso ka?
T: Oo.
A: Eeeee..
T: Bilis na!
A: Seryoso nga?
T: Seryoso.

Wala na siya nagawa, dinala niya ang laptop dun pati ang webcam.

After a while... via SMS..

A: Ala ko masabi sa ating dalawa Mahal. Compatible talaga.
T: Napaka! Sobra ba?
A: Sobra?
T: Hindi.
A: Pasok ka na?
T: Oo, baka hina-hunting na ako sa office eh.
A: Ok, mwaaaaah!

Sa office.. nakatingin sila lahat pagpasok ko, si Tita Sosi nakangiti sa akin. Di lang makapagtanong. Pag-upo ko sa workstation, SMS ulit..

A: Nagmamadali ka pumasok noh? Hehe! Sabihin mo nakipag make love ka sa misis mo!
T: Nakangiti nga sila lahat sa akin eh!
A: Nakangiti?
T: Yep, namumula kasi ako.
A: Ano 'yan afterglow?
T: Korek!
A: Hahahaha!

Sometimes all you have to do is to become creative. It works.

When you're on the same wavelength, anything is possible.

;)

More pictures

Meia, Me, Alex
Administrators and Faculty

Drink up!

Boom shake

Hataw kung hataw!

Sige, itodo niyo na!

Restless nights

In Buddhism, the source of moral authority is the causal law. Be kind, be just, be humane, be honest if you desire to crown your future. Dishonesty, cruelty, inhumanity will condemn you to a miserable fall.

- Soyen Shaku

People have been wishing me well for the last few weeks. I've been asking myself if it was that obvious - that I've got a lot of things on my mind, that I am stressed. Ever since the result of the GSE selection got out, I couldn't sleep soundly. Dreams had appeared, one in which I've been in contact with the angel of death. He pinned me down, pushed at my heart so hard I couldn't breathe then let me go and vanished into thin air. Weird.

The last dream I had was this morning, I was in the hospital bed, of course at my nurse's floor. She was administering an angiogram (I think). Gabe came and then I asked him if he still remembers me, he nodded and said Tita Abie. I felt relieved. Then I woke up.

This GSE thing's been bugging me for weeks now. Only two months left to prepare all the needed documents and we haven't accomplished a single bit. This weekend we're going to have a meeting, word has it that anyone who misses three meetings will be out of the team. Talk about commitment! It's a good thing.

Thank you to all of those who believe that I can make it. And for everyone who's working their butts off to make this happen for me, I'll be forever grateful. RC Meycauayan-Uptown, if it's for me, it's for me. Don't feel sorry that you haven't exerted that extra push, don't make excuses that if only you had known that you've got a candidate... blah blah blah. It's over and done with. Let's hope for the best. This year or next year, Maryland or South Korea, you still got your international points when you try to clinch that title.

But of course, if asked for my preference I'd choose Maryland. Hehehehe!

Over and done with

Finally, the acquaintance party went well. Did my job, danced my part and got great reviews about it, had a few beers, declined invitations for a dance, had another set of beers, missed my wife so much.

Please give it to us this time. We both need each other. We can't live without each other.

The new Samsung D780 Duos

New on my wish list. My dual sim phone is acting strange, that's why I have my eyes on this. Nice color. Only downside is, the secondary sim only supports dual band functionality. No wifi, no 3G. Can't have it all huh?

Bits and pieces

I haven't been getting enough sleep lately. Pagkatapos ng sarap, heto na ang hirap. Tons of workload is piling up at my desk. Nagkatotoo ata ang hiling ko na maging super busy after June 25. To think that I voluntary gave up four classes originally assigned to me, I never thought I would be this toxic. Originally my work hours every Monday, Wednesday and Friday should only be eight hours a day, five for admin work and three for my class. But I extend beyond that and it takes its toll on my health. Lately I've been getting a lot of chest pains. And it shows, kahapon lang ang daming nakapansin na matamlay ako. So, today, I went home early. Tinapos ko lang ang mga kailangang gawin. I have to learn when to stop. And today, I took the first step.

Your Expression Number is 6

You have an outstanding sense of responsibility, love, and balance. You are helpful and inclined to comfort those in need. You have many artistic and creative talents, but you only use them to better others. You are loving, friendly, and appreciative of others. You have a depth of understanding that produces much kindness and generosity. Openness and honesty are apparent in your approach to all relationships. Sometimes, you can be too demanding of yourself. At times, you tend to sacrifice yourself for the welfare of others. At other times, you have trouble distinguishing between helping and interfering.

What's Your Expression Number?